Hot Dog Dreams, Bull Touching, and Why I Love Trips to the Pueblo

I miss hot dogs. It has been SO long since I have had a really good hot dog. I'm craving a big beef one with all the toppings- like chili, cheese, onions, jalapenos. They have hot dogs here... but they're nothing like the American ones. Don't they have really good hot dogs at street stands in New York? One day I want to go to new york and buy one on the street. A frank. A weiner. With all the works. Yes.... I will do that! Maybe that will be my treat to myself at the end of this Peace Corps journey... a trip to New York to eat an awesome hot dog. Ooooh and bagels, and a corned beef reuben, and matzo ball soup. Sounds like a plan. Who's with me?

I don't even know why I am thinking about hot dogs so much... my stomach is in awful shape the last couple days. I don't really feel like eating much. And when i do it... it feels gross. Last night I was eating pupusas, I can't believe how much I like those things. I was sitting here at my house at my table and it occured to me "wow, this is some really awful food." A really awful food that I have surprisingly aqcuired a strong taste for. Maybe because it's not peanut butter and jelly or ramen noodles. I never would have eaten crap like that in a previous life... and here I am in the peace corps loving pupusas. It's amazing how much one changes when living in a different environment.

So I passed through San Vicente yesterday on my way home from San Salvador. I arrived a little nauseous after the bus ride on the super smooth Super Especial bus with his a/c, fancy seats and movies playing. Yea, it was a rough ride. I arrived in San Vi to buy my food for the week before going back to my site. I wasn't feeling so hot when I walked into the grocery store, and I looked to my left and there was this comfy looking canvas foldy lawn chair just sitting there on display with all the kiddy pools and floaties they had as part of their summer sale. I was like "SWEEEET!" What luck. So with time to kill before my bus came, I just sat their in the lawn chair of the perfectly air conditioned grocery store watching the shoppers pass by. Super Selectos, I love you. Finally, I felt I had recovered from the nausea of the bus ride and was ready to shop.

This brought me to thinkin about all the things I love about my trips to San Vicente.

1. Getting to read books on the bus for an hour there and an hour back. That's a lot of chapters I can get through. It makes the ride faster and more entertaining. And people don't talk to me, they just stare at me while I read. I wonder why they stare? Is it because they never see anyone reading books, especially books that thick, or no one ever reads books at all. Especially ones in English!

2. Going to the office on a Saturday for some good peace and quite time to work on a computer. I can't work much at home. Internet's too slow. No printer. And I feel bad when people see I am spending so much time alone in my house during the day. Can't really work at the computer lab at school because the kids always crowd around my computer watching my ever move. And I feel bad sitting in front of a computer instead of hanging out with them. So thanks to the San Vi office for giving me a nice place to get some work done.

3. Getting frozen chocolate covered bananas on a stick covered in cocoa krispies and eating it while I shop around the market, buying cheap stuff, always negotiating lower prices.

4. The sweet, old toothless lady that sits in front of the Catholic church in the park and sells candles. We've gotten to know one another because I wait for my bus there. I sit next to her and we talk. I can always count on her to keep track of whether or not I missed  my bus.

5. The friendly people at the cake and sandwich shop that wear big tall chef hats and know me by name. They always greet me and ask me how I'm doing when I walk by. They have pretty good paninis over there.

6. Pupusas for breakfast at Comedor Mary.

7. Meeting up with Jamie for chicken wings and beer at our favorite cafe in the park. Sitting on the balcony upstairs gives you a wonderful view of the park with its Catholic church, clock tower and volcano in the background.

8. The air conditioned Super Selectos.

9. Sitting in the pews of the catholic church and reading my book while I wait for my bus. Is that rude?

10. Buying my favorite snack on the bus on the way home. 25 cents (or as we say... "una kora") from the lady with lots of makeup and bright pink frilly make up. Sliced cucumber with salt, lime, hot sauce, and this poweder made from the seed of ayote called ayguaste.

In other news, I noticed Roxana, Milton's 16 year old sister who just graduated from 9th grade last year was looking quite round and large in the belly yesterday. I didn't want to ask... but it she was looking pretty preggo to me. Ay dios mio. She's just a baby herself. She can't have a baby. I was even going to look for scholarships for her to maybe go to high school. She won't want to go now. Well who knows, we'll see... maybe I'm wrong. Maybe she's just getting fat? Oy. I doubt it.

In case you're wondering how Milton is doing... he is doing pretty well I suppose. His arm still looks funky from his burn, with skin looking all dry like he's a reptile. And the skin seems to still be sensitive and thin. This kid falls more than any 3 year old I have ever know. Ok well I haven't known many 3 year olds, but he is ALWAYS falling and hurting himself. Is that normal? Maybe most 3 years have parents that keep a closer eye on them to make sure they aren't getting hurt all the time. And he comes back to my house crying with cuts all over himself and I get out my medical kit and put some neosporin and band aids on him. One the days that I can't get him to stop crying I whip out my camera and start taking pictures of him. That always does the trick and makes him smile immediately.

Milton smiling despite the boo boo

Just last weekend he showed up down at my neighbors house where I was eating pupusas to hang out with me. He had left home and walked there all by himself. He's sneaky like that, always running off. I told him he shouldn't do that... it's dangerous. What if a car were to come? A few years ago a 4 year old was killed here in my community because he was out running around and got hit by a bus in the street.  But anyway... still love the kid. We are going to the beach next Sunday with a bunch of other people from the community. He has never seen the ocean before, so that will be fun!

Off to the hammock! Need my stomach to settle before I can go out walking in the sun.

Paz y amor. Here's a few more pics to leave you with.

Don Chepito loves his bull, Nino. He was showing me how nice of a bull he is and was encouraging me to ride him.



This is as close as I could get. Chepito is right, he's a very nice bull. But I'm still wary of cows after one tried to attack me. I ended up feeding Nino salt out of my hand. I don't think I need to do that again. Cow tongue. Gross. Unless you are eating it at a NY deli.



I have two gallinas that sleep on my front porch. See them on each side of the door. I am not fond of this because they and their gazillion baby chickens that sleep up under them poo all over my porch. Gross. They used to sleep behind my house but Marinita is afraid they will be stolen. Meanwhile, one of our new puppies has been killing and eating lots of the baby chickens. Marinita and Chepito want to kill her, but there's an easy solution. Feed the dog.



Inside a Bubble

Newsflash.... Don Chepito DOES know how to cook! I have never in my months here seen him step foot in the kitchen. When Marinita leaves, the neighbor makes him his food. But this morning, he had to make his own food because Marinita is gone and the neighbor is sick. I don't know why, but I feel so relieved that I was wrong about him. I guess it's because before I thought he didn't know how to take care of himself, but now my repect has gone up for him a bit more. When he saw the look of shock on my face when I saw he cooked, he told me he knows how to wash clothes too! LoL. He just doesn't usually show that he can do these things because that's the woman's job.

All the time Marinita is telling Don Tulio- You need to find yourself a wife, or a woman to live with you, so she can take care of you. Don Tulio likes this idea very much- and Marinita's comments are usually followed by him proposing to me. To which I respond with laughter and exaggerated head nods that mean no way. It's interesting to me how Marinita is such a proponent of this Women-Serve-Men lifestyle. She runs herself into the ground everyday keeping her house clean and caring for Chepito. I can't help but wonder, would there be more equality in this community if women just stopped doing everything for the men and babying them so much? Clearly Don Tulio can take care of himself just fine- even though he is a 60 year old that seems to be developmentally at the age of 10.

But I suppose with as much at men here cheat on their women, maybe they do it in hopes that they will appreciate them more and not be unfaithful. Unfortunately, that doesn't stop most of them. What do you suppose it would take for such a machisto country like this to take steps toward gender equality?
This is a good reason for me to start a women's group. Like one of my friends wrote in his blog, "Many say if you want to truly make progressive steps forward in developing a country, start with women... " Hmmm.... I'll have to see about that. I'm soon going to be working with a group of women to make and sell shampoo. Wish me luck with that!

So much else to tell you guys about!

I have 4 youth that I'm taking to an HIV/AIDS education workshop in a few weeks up in Chalatenango. They will also learn about safe sex and other STDs. I think they are more excited about going to a part of their country they have never visited before than anything. But it will be a good step towards constructive work in my site. They are expected to take what they learn at the workshop and come back to San Vicente and teach it to the youth in their community. I'm a little bit nervous about being pegged as the gringa that is promoting sex among the youth, but you know what- they're doing it! It's necessary they be educated on it.

I don't know if you recall but I had a 14 year old girl, Ivania, in my youth group that was pregnant. I came back from my vacation to discover she had suddenly left to go mojada to the United States. Her mom lives in the US and told her she had to come. Eek. She went alone... just her and a group of unknown people that all pay the same Coyote thousands of dollars to guide them. Hope she's allright.

A few other sad things happened while I was gone. The literature teacher at my school hasn't been to work in a while. Her husband was shot and killed in while working in San Miguel. He was a militar I am told... I think that means he was in the army? I'm not sure I understand the details, but i think he was killed by gangsters. All I know is it's really really sad for her family. I met him once. He was a very nice family man. And poor Marlene, the government only gives her 8 days off to grieve the death of her husband. Any more days she takes she has to go without pay.

Don Chepito's nephew was also shot while I was gone. He was a motorista that worked on the inner-city buses in San Vicente. Was shot by mareros for not paying renta. This kind of thing happens all the time around here. There was another similar shooting recently of two motoristas on a pickup truck to Santa Clara, where I used to live. I am told the mareros were kind enough to get all of the passengers off the pick up before they shot the guys. I don't let these things scare me. It's just a reality here... and you know what... it's a reality everywhere. There were shootings in my neighborhoods of Houston. I do let these events serve as reminders that I need to be careful and aware of my surroundings.

President Obama was here visiting El Salvador this week. Everyone was talking to me about it, and the day he arrived it's all that was on TV. I saw my neighbors glued to the television watching over and over the clips ofo him and his family walking off the plane, and they even remained glued to the TV when it was showing nothing but traffic in front of the Cathedral they were going to. It was a pretty big deal around here. And they are all talking about how they served Obama pupusas and frijoles for dinner. Noel worked the dinner and told me it wasn't just that, they had much more than that. But it makes the people happy to think that even the Presidents eat their humble beans.

I'm teaching English to Kindergartenders this week, and will soon be doing the same with all the primary grades. Teaching them while their young, they'll soak it up and hopefully have a good base for learning English in the future. I'm also getting to work on fundraisers, working with the students and teachers, to purchase a refrigerator for the school. I was given a generous donation from a friend in the states- that in reality would cover nearly the whole cost of a refrigerator but I want my school to have more ownership of it, and they will want to take good care of it. Then I can also use the rest of my donated money for other educational projects. Purchasing a refrigerator will allow the staff to buy more fruits, vegetables, and milk for the children, providing them with healthier more filling meals they were unable to get before. They won't waste as much food. And also- they have a lot of events and celebrations in the school. They bring in a lot of meats and then the meats just sit there all day in the heat- with flies and who knows what growing on it.

Rode a horse again yesterday. The stirrups were too long so when we trotted or ran I just had to hang on for my life. He got a little angry with me there at the end and didn't want to listen to my commands. I rode through the center of town on him exactly at the time when most people are out of their houses. I'm sure I gave them something to talk about. I like horses and everything, but I dont think I can keep up with riding them. I'm allergic to them. Everytime I go for a ride, after I immediately am attacked by sneezing and allergies :( Too bad. I'd love to have a horse of my own to get around everywhere. But I think I want a girl horse. They are probably nicer and more tranquila. Plus, boy horses are kind of gross to look at when they get excited, if you know what I mean. Yuck.

Anyway- Chepito has asked me to do him the favor of putting all his phone numbers in his contacts on his new cell phone. But he's not asking me to do it because I'm a woman... He, like most old folks, just doesn't really have a clue how to operate a phone.

Paz y amor.

P.S. Does soap get dirty?

Viva la Gringa!

Back in the c-a-m-p-o. How does it feel? Not so bad. Kinda nice. nearly forgot about how hot and sweaty it is out here. But you know, people are genuinely happy to see me. Like, wow... you went "alla" to the Oosa and you actually wanted to come back here. Amazed, they are... because their family member left to go to the states 25 years ago and they haven't seen them since. It must be that awesome there in the US if they dont come back ever, right!?

Coming back and walking into my house made me feel loved. My host mom had cleaned my house spotless. I always tell her she doesnt need to do anything to my house. It's my house. If I didnt live in a casa aparte I would have to do all this stuff myself. I can't complain. It used to bother me when she was in my house cleaning it. I'm just territorial about my space. But I have to say, I really appreciate it. And I know she does it because she loves me. So thanks Marinita :) You make my life here easier. Even though I'm still thinking about moving... Looking for a place in the centro so I can mingle more. Will keep you posted.

She did, however, insist on me unplugging my refrigerator when I left. I had no prior experience with unplugging refrigerators... so I took all the food out and just unplugged it. I had no idea you should leave it open. I came home, opened my fridge to find it was covered with mold inside. So I spent the first 2-3 hours back in my site cleaning my refri so that all the food I just bought in the pueblo wouldnt go bad. Hope I actually got all the mold out!

So I was thinking tonight... And I guess that I still very much live like an American in the campo.

As I saw Marinita come to my porch to get the freshly laid eggs from the chickens, I started thinking about all that these people do. Their daily routines. They are completely accustomed to keeping themselves busy with tasks that are much more simple to us in the us. We just push buttons and our clothes our clean. We buy our food ready to make at the store. These people fill their entire day with just trying to fulfill their basic needs. Washing plates and clothes in the pila. Washing corn, cooking it, carrying it on their head to grind it to make tortillas. Making tortillas for every meal takes at least a few hours. Taking 2-3 bucket baths a day to stay cool and clean. Sweeping and mopping every day. Feeding all the chickens and cows. They spend almost all their time doing all of these things (that i certainly never take the time to do) And there's so much for them to do they finish the day and they still haven't done everything. Why don't I do all these things? Well I guess I'm just not that assimilated. But they sure do stay busy. Perhaps I should start helping feed the animals.

But I don't have a need to do all that. I don't eat tortillas everyday. They really pack on the pounds. And sometimes I would rather sweat and stink than get myself wet again. I have mopped my floor once in my 5 months in site. I did pay the neighbor $1 to do it a couple times. And there are a number of very American things about me that I am not sure they will ever understand. How I like to be alone for hours at a time, and how I can spend so much time in front of a computer- something completely foreign to the old folks. And the fact that I go to the capital and know it way better than they do.... they hardly ever leave here. Just going to the pueblo is a big outing for them. But that's a matter of money, really. They don't have the money to leave as much. But still, the fact that I can leave and go to places all over the country, and even go visit the states and come back... all of that makes it obvious I am very different.

I don't have to change everything about me. They can think I am strange and different. I try to explain myself sometimes- telling them what I'm doing is normal for an American. That's how we are. Sometimes we need to be alone. They might say "ok" and it possibly helps with them being so offended that I would rather read a book in my house than sit with them and gossip. But I bet they still think I am strange.

Another American thing about me- I do not care about what I look like in the campo! I figure I might as well be comfortable- I dont need to impress anyone! Certainly don't want to make any man attracted to me- the less piropos (cat calls) the better. But that doesnt stop them. I don't get how the Salva women do it. It's hot as hell. I can't stop sweating. I'm dragging myself around the rocky dirt rodes in rolled up pants, a tshirt and flip flops with my hair all tied up in a ball... about as unsexy as you get. And what do I see them walking by in? Tight pants, a flashy almost nice looking shirt with lots of cleavage, hair done, tons of makeup, big earrings, and what!?!..... High heels!!! How do they do it? I almost break my ankles walking on the rocks in my flats. They are unbelievable... sometimes you can add a big fat salvo baby onto the hip of that hot mama.  And they also look like they never sweat. Kudos to you salva women.... I'm not doin' it though.

The new group of volunteers were sworn in today. Man- I can't belive it- it feels like just yesterday that they arrived. 2 months ago! Is that how quickly time is flying!?

Well I'm off to bed with one of the many girly novels I brought back from the states with me :) then it's lots of work to do tomorrow... school and house visits.

P.S. Had pupusas for breakfast AND lunch today! Mmnmmmm.....

You just have to GO

What am I doing here? that's what I have been asking myself lately. Ok, the other PCV gringos were right. Going back to the oosa f*cks with you. Just trying to get myself back into the swing of things... poco a poco. Going home was really nice. Seeing my parents and being able to drive myself around to all my favorite places, to get anything i want. That's what the United States of America is. The land where you can get anything you want at any given time. And you can check your email a thousand times a day on a fancy iPad, and watch all the trashy american television you want, and the world is your oyster. It's incredible. It was interesting to be there for a few weeks, living the life, just like my life was before I left... almost... minus a few things.... and I felt almost if I had never left. Would it have felt like that if I would have waited until a year before going back? Perhaps.

One of my surprising highlights of the trip was visiting my old middle school that I taught at. I was sort of feeling hesitant about going... but it was a great day. I got to hang out with my great teaching friend Katie and talk with all of her classes about peace corps, because I had been corresponding with them since the start of the year. Got to answer some of their very interesting questions, and some students even came up with the wonderful idea of having a fundraiser to get money for my school in my site. I like that idea! :) It was fun to catch up with old colleagues and feel the walls of an American public school again. As surprising as that sounds... Well at least to myself and those that knew me while I was teaching.

So, in the USA I ate my heart out... to the point of pain and loss of sleep at times. Because I had to eat all that I can't get where I live, you know? It was ridiculous. Pho. Mexican. Cajun. Chic-fil-a. And the best of all!..... Dad's BBQ!!!!! And I got a fantastic pedicure with Mom. Enjoyed a wonderful happy hour with her at PF Changs. Saw my grandma. Hung out with my bro and met his awesome new ladyfriend Jenny :) Had my most excellent boyfriend come hang out for a weekend and went to the Houston livestock show and Rodeo.... and went shooting with him and Dad, for a real proper Texas weekend. Went shopping with my old pal Sarah and spent way too much money on things I can't get abroad. Hung out with my good friend Gjabby and had an extremely unique and tasty salad and wine with great conversation, of course.... I will miss all of you. I DO miss you. Already. It was a great trip. So great, that it makes it hard to be back. But I will get there, back into the swing of things. Poco a poco. That's how it all goes.

I find myself whining and complaining and hurting about all that I'm going to miss.... all that maybe I had nearly forgotten about after being away for 8 months and this trip reminded me of. BUT, yes.... BUT.... My life is awesome. I am happy. And grateful for this experience. this adventure. It comes with its trying times, yes. But doesn't almost everything? You just have to go with it. Stop being a whiney titty baby and be a grown up and grab it by the horns and go..... You just have to go. And be confident in the fact that at the end of it all, it will all be worth it.