You know what? Things are pretty damn good these days. Ok yea, yesterday I had a rough time and I was having one of those "I feel like I hate El Salvador and no one here understands me" kind of moments. But that's just because I had 2 crazy busy weeks of running around, long bus rides and being around people constantly almost every day. I reached my limit and just needed a day to myself. So I took it. I stayed in my house allllll day, which I almost never do... especially without feeling guilty about it. I read, I wrote, I watched a movie. It was wonderful! A day just for me! It's important to remember to take those. And then by the time evening came I was feeling back to normal and ready to show my face to my community again. Peace Corps is crazy like that sometimes. Everyone says how you have really high highs and really low lows. And it's amazing how quickly you can go from a high to a low or vice versa. But generally, I am happy.
It was just the night before my "I hate El Salvador moment" that I had returned back to my community feeling like I had done one of the greatest things so far in my service. I felt awesome. I had taken some kids from my town to Chalatenango to the HIV/AIDS prevention camp... They learned a lot, had tons of fun, and went and taught what they learned to kids at a school in La Palma on the last day where they kicked ass and I was so proud of them. I felt like taking them to the camp was one of the best things I have done because I gave these youth the opportunity to have a completely new experience unlike anything they had ever had before. Sleep away camps are not something most Salvadorans have the opportunity to experience. For them to get out and see a part of their country they had never been to, to meet youth from outside their community- they have only known and hung out with people from their towns their entire lives... meeting people from a far away place and making friends with them.. It was just really beautiful. It couldn't have gone better. I would definitely like to do more camps in the future. Even though it means staying in the free state park cabins that are kinda ghetto and nasty... a few nights of sleeping uncomfortably is worth it.
Saw my first tarantula there. And then yesterday I saw one in my site for the first time! EW! Tarantulas are scary looking! I stopped screaming and freaking out about rats long ago. When I see scorpions now, I remain calm and just kill them. I live with frogs hopping aroung my house. Tarantulas though appear to be one thing I can not chill out about. Huge hairy spiders the size of the palm of my hand. They have to do something bad to you... if they look that scary! AHHHHH!
Let me get back to this low I had the other day. It was triggered by a comment my host mom made to me. She came to say bye and tell me they were off to church on Sunday when she said, "I would invite you, but you don't like to go places with us." OK well she's not exactly wrong... whenever I go out with them I have to ride in the truck Chepito drives- and his driving is scary with his one eye vision and his diabetic low sugar states. And I always am coerced into sitting smushed between the two of them in the seat of the truck, its pretty uncomfortable. I always tell them I would prefer to sit in the bed in the back, just because I need my space you know. But they don't like being seen toting the gringa around like that they said. Besides the only places they ever go to are to church and to pray at people houses, or to weddings of people I don't even know. Why would I want to go to those things? Catholic mass is not something I enjoy. Why would a non-Catholic be interested in going to mass? I thought Marinita figured a long time ago I was evangelical anyway.
Anyway, it was just this one comment that got my wheels spinning. I make an effort to spend time with them, I do. Just last Sunday I spent the ENTIRE day with them at the beach. But ok... say that it is true that I dont like going out with them, isn't that ok? I go out with them from time to time, but I'm not going to go to every event every weekend. It made me feel bad though- Marinita is good with the Latina mama guilt. Because I dont want them to feel like I don't like them, and I feel like I try to have a good relationship with them. It's just, where I'm from- it's ok to have more of an independent kind of lifestyle. And just because someone lives next door and is your landlord doesnt mean you have to do everything with them. *sigh* this is where the "no one here understands me" thoughts came in. Those trains of thought are never good to hop on for me. But I pulled myself out of the slump after some good chick flick distraction.
Still trying to wrap my head around what these cultural differences mean... and how I am going to live with and handle them. Most of the time I can just go with it and even laugh about it.
I know- a lot of it is about Marinita... I guess because she is the person I see everyday that I have these misunderstandings with. Like yesterday- I told her "Ok, I'm going to watch a movie in my house now" and she said "ok I'll be over there in a little bit." How did that sound like an invitation? She couldn't watch a movie in English on my 7 inch DVD player with me. Haha. Good thing I watch movies in English, because i really needed my time alone :) lol. I did watch a mexican movie with her and Chepito that night... to make up for it.
Also, I came home today with a splitting headache and she was so extremely concerned out me, which was very sweet. But my head was pounding and the last thing I wanted was to speak spanish to a salva mom hovering over my hammock. She told me I had such a bad headache because I "study" too much. Whenever she sees me reading-- whatever it may be, a book, People magazine-- she says I study too much. Reading fictional novels and trashy magazines is hardly studying. And she kept saying it to me while I was laying in my hammock, head throbbing "You really shouldn't study so much, it hurts you." I said, "Marinita, I studied for years all the way through University, I assure you... studying is not bad for you." I had a headache from the heat or dehydration or something. NOT from reading books! LoL- I told Jamie about it, and she said something like "Yea! THATS why they all stop studying after 6th grade, to avoid headaches." Anyway... an interesting cultural exchange none the less.
Next thing I knew Marinita comes in my house cutting up a huge watermelon for me, saying she was going to spend the night at my house if I was sick... and then she came at me with the big bottle of green goo that she proceeded to rub all over my forehead and even into my hair on the top of my head. She said it helps her when her head hurts. I recognized this as the stuff they sell on the buses for a dollar. And it BURNED. A lot. But you know, my head hurt so bad I was willing to try anything. And you know what? Within 20 minutes it was gone! I think it was probably the 3 advil I took shortly before... BUT i dunnnno... it could be the magic of the green goo.
I had a translation error with our driver on the way to Chalatenango. I was trying to tell him to turn the air up in the back of the van, because we were hot. The kids told me I ended up telling him that we were all horny in the behind. Oops! LoL. Love those english to spanish blooper moments.
Chalatenango is gorgeous. I saw my friend Katherine's site and was very jealous of her cool mountain weather, paved streets and pueblo-like set up. I was almost ready to switch sites, until the drive home... No thanks, I don't want to live there. The roads arejust too windy. I get road sick easy. I will just have to live with tredging through mud and water on my dirt roads during rainy season... It's really not that bad. But darn, I shoulda bought those cute rain boots at target when I was in the states :/
I'm discovering my love George Straight. Oooh, George. You're good company in the casita at night.
Finally got myself up and out of bed for a morning run today! Gonna try and make this a habit again. Working out makes me feel good and happy.
Making shampoo tomorrow with a group of women for the first time! Hopefully it will turn out good enough for selling!
Ok... well it's way past my bedtime... Almost 10:30! WHOA! I've been asleep by 8 or 9 every night this week. Buenas Noches!
Paz y Amor.
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