Gringa Pride and Pinata Bust

This may be a record for the longest I have gone without writing a blog. It's been over two weeks. I guess I was waiting for something to write about... Many things have gotten to be normal to me here. This is just life. This is where I live.

And so here I am, coming up on 10 months of being here. What do I have to say about that? I confess- this is way harder than I imagined. I'm not giving up.... but I was thinking about this last night. I had done my fair share of traveling abroad prior to Peace Corps. A month in Mexico, a few weeks in Israel, Greece and Argentina... And I loved going to countries and experiencing their cultures... And clearly the Peace Corps experience is quite different than a few weeks or a month of passing through a country. I guess it's just I realize more and more with passing months how different it is to have to live and adapt to this culture.

It's funny- when I was living my American life, I never thought a second about how much I valued my culture. It's such a comfort to live your life in a culture where people talk and do things just like you do. And after being here almost a year it's sinking in how deeply engrained my American culture is in me. How different my perspective is now than when I was in my first months. When I was super gung-ho about living just like a Salvadoran. Then time passed and I've learned more about their culture seen that I am never going to live just like they do or be like them. Nor do I want to. I know now just how much I love and appreciate my own culture... I don't want or have to give that up. I still gotta be me, ya know. Peace Corps is affecting me... I have never been so proud to be an American.

And then I wonder with so many Salvadorans and people from all over the world moving into the states after decades and decades... what is that doing to the U.S. and our culture? I guess it's kinda cool that in our country we can experience so many different cultures, living alongside them, without having to give up ours. Just driving through Houston's Alief is like a mini-trip to Vietnam. That's cool. You get to experience the world without having to leave your city. I can appreciate that.

I was on the bus back to my site last week after hanging out at Noel's house for the weekend and I was feeling like I typically do when I leave there- a little blue. It's not easy making the transition from capital life to campo life... there is a world of difference between the two. I usually get a little down about it, but after I am back in my site for a day I'm fine. So I was sitting there frowning a bit and the guy next to me was super happy and could not control his urges to talk to me. So finally I gave in- talking would be a good distraction from sitting there thinking about how much I was going to miss my boyfriend and that life... And the guy is all smiley and telling me about how he is on his way home to San Miguel to pack his things because he has his interview that morning at the US embassy and was approved for an immigrant visa and he would be flying out as soon as possible.

"Pues, Felicidades" i told him. He went on to talk to me about how nervous and scared he is. He has never lived anywhere but with his cows and chicken in the campo of San Miguel. I didn't study past 6th grade. And I was thinking- what is this guy going to do up there? He said his plan was to cut grass for his brothers landscaping business. Ok- that's more money than he would ever make here. And then he asks me, "How hard is it for you to live outside of your country and your culture?" and he's talking about how much he's going to miss El Salvador- his food, his life... I was honest and told him it can be tough sometimes. But then I realized how much easier it will be for him living there.... when people immigrate to the U.S. there are huge communities of others just like them. They have their food, they celebrate their holidays, and shoot- they don't even have to learn the language. People go to the states and live there forever and never learn English because they dont have to. We even cater to them and make it easier for them by having many things translated for them. Cuidado. Piso Mojado.

What a comfort to have that kind of support when moving to another country. It's tough when I'm out here in the campo and the only American.... sometimes it feels like no one here understands me. Thank God at least I can call my gringo friends who are here experiencing the same thing... And when I need gringo time we can get together and hang out. But seriously, I could not live here if it weren't for them. I would go crazy. I need my fellow Americans more than I ever thought I would. I get by with a little help from my friends.

So anyway... Does all this sound pessimistic to you? Sorry about that. I really had a decent week last week too... I was out of my house everyday most of the day, hangin with the peeps. I spent all afternoon last Thursday making pinatas with 4th graders. It was fun and they seemed to have a great time... we got the first layer of paper mache on there... and were going to put on the second layer and finish up the bodies on Friday. And then Friday came and I showed up to school to find out at that several 4th grade girls had done and destroyed all the pinatas. WTF? I was really upset by this... they ruined them all, crushed them. Little boogers. I was so excited to be doing them and to be active with the kids at school. I just felt like- How can I do anything with these kids? The teachers are just as much to blame. They don't really supervise the kids and the kids know it- The pinatas were hanging in the office a place I thought was safe and out of the way... but the kids went in there anyway. Sigh. Ok I'm over it now... I don't think I will be doing pinatas again. Next time I do an art project we will do something they can finish and take home in the same day. It's too bad these girls ruined it for everyone else. Kids.

I am super excited and looking forward to my trip to Roatan, Honduras at the end of the month where Jamie and I are going to try scuba diving for the first time. It's supposed to be one of the best places for diving in the world. It kinda freaks me out, being deep down in the water like that... but I'm giving it a go. Everyone I know who has tried it says its awesome and that I gotta do it.
I'm also going to use up my airline credit I still have left over from canceling my trip to South America last summer before joining the peace corps and I'm going to go to Houston just for the 4th of July weekend. I'm lucky that I'm from a place that's only a few hours away by plane. Yup... This ain't my grandmother's Peace Corps! (who served in Benin back in the 80s).

I wanted to sleep in today but Don Tulio was chopping wood right outside my house... at 5:30 in the morning! Oh well... gave me time to write this blog.

I've been exercising a lot more at my house in the campo lately. I got all the p90x cds from Noel and it's great- I'm able to get excercise without having to wake up super early to run before the sun comes out, and then when it rains I can't run because it's too muddy. I'm loving it.... And today is Yoga! So I'm gonna get to it! Then I gotta run to the school and clean up the pinata mess.