A Dog-Eat-Cow World

10-31

Tomorrow is Halloween. I love Halloween. I guess it’s that part of me that will always be a kid that keeps me feeling attached to the holiday. In Texas around this time the weather finally starts cooling down- the air is a little bit crisper, the sun a bit kinder. You see black and orange decorations in the neighborhoods and in the stores. Pumpkins. Costumes. This is the first time in my life I have been separated from the feeling of October in the states. Wow. I get a little homesick thinking about it. But Tuesday in El Salvador they are celebrating Day of the Dead... I wonder how that will be. I think people are gonna dress up in costumes. I heard that everyone goes and hangs out at the cemetery all day and has a party there and they sell food and drinks and stuff. So maybe it’ll help with my missing Halloween.

I woke up this morning and right outside my house I saw the dogs chewing on something. Something big. It was a chivo, a baby cow. Pretty new born. The dogs had killed it in the night to feast. I was kind of shocked.... but at the same time not really. That’s life. Dogs here don’t get Pedigree from their owners... They just get tortillas and milk. They have to get some meat, ya know... and well out here- they do what they gotta do to get it. It’s really kind of neat. For the first time ever, I’m being exposed to nature... to the wild. I never would have seen this at home- where the dogs are treated like sweet little babies and dressed up in clothes and given pillows to sleep on. No wonder all that sounds crazy to Salvadorans. It is crazy. They are animals. And we humanize them, baby them, and forget what they are capable of doing on their own. This is real life, what I am seeing here. A dog-eat-dog, or excuse me, dog-eat-cow world. And here I am finding everything I was looking for. 

My whole life, I knew the world was different outside of the states. I knew people didn’t live so comfortably like we do. And so many of us take it for granted what we have. I wanted to simplify my life. To not just see what people live like here, but to live like they do. Our comfy houses that are sealed from all traces of wildlife. In all my houses I ever lived in I hardly ever saw bugs. We had the house sprayed to protect ourselves from them. The most I ever saw was a cockroach here and there, or one of those really tiny spiders, a daddy-long legs, or a mosquito. Here, I just get used to living with the bugs. They don’t scare me anymore. The rats don’t scare me anymore. 

It’s really satisfying to live this rural 3rd world life... To just focus on the important things- spending time with good people, helping them, being productive- Free from wasting hours on the couch watching trashy television shows, Throwing away entire days surfing the internet and feeding a facebook addiction. The people here don’t have much. They are poor. They eat the same beans, rice, tortillas, and pupusas all the time. They go to bed at 8 o clock at night and wake up at 4 or 5 in the morning. Don’t drink much. They have to go collect sticks in the woods to make fires to cook their food.  They don’t have machines to wash their clothes and dishes and heat their food in 30 seconds. It’s a bit harder. But their lives are simpler at the same time. And in many ways their lives are so much better and more satisfying. They spend time with their families everyday. The families and neighbors work together. Salvadorans have good hearts. They have nothing and want to give those they love everything. I love it here. I thought leaving my American life to come here was so hard. But I can already guess that going home will be so much harder. I don’t have to think about that right now though. It’s only the beginning for me. I am thankful for this opportunity. And I am thankful for all my family and friends back home that are showing me so much support!

Yesterday I was at the school- just hanging out there and reading a magazine. It was the afternoon- so only grades 5-9 were there. I haven’t gotten to know many of them because most of them are really shy. But yesterday I could see they were finally warming up to me. They came and sat next to me, asking me questions about who I am, what I’m gonna do. Its great to finally get to know some of them. I was talking to 2 boys that weren’t in class taking exams like everyone else. I asked why- turns out they got kicked out of school because they had too many absences. But they still came to hang out there even though they couldn’t be in class. They wanted to be there. They wanted to see their friends. They said they had all those absences because they had to work for their families. 

Later I sat in on the HIV lecture for the 7th graders, given by one of the teachers. It was pretty well done. The kids need to know about it... and AIDS is a huge problem here, as it is in many 3rd world countries. The teacher was telling them to protect themselves through abstinence. She didn’t really talk much about using protection if they are sexually active. I wonder if those kids know how to use a condom. And kids here become sexually active at very young ages. Most of them don’t use protection because well- you have to have the money to buy condoms, and you have to get them in the city... They probably have too much pena to buy them. I dont think they even sell them at the little tiendas here. And even if they did- it’s such a small town everyone would know what kids are doing it- they’d all be gossiping about it. So the kids have few options for protecting themselves. The teacher asked me to help her with this sex education program in the next school year- which starts in January. I would be happy to help. I think it’s really important to provide youth with knowledge about this stuff. 

I walked a sweet little old lady home yesterday. She needed to hang on to my arm to not fall down. What would normally be a 5 minute walk for me was a 30 minute walk with her. LoL. 

I woke up for a run this morning and I feel great! I could get used to this. 

If it ain't broke, don't fix it

10-28

Visiting my friend Jamie’s site made me feel really lucky to be living where I am. Her site is really great, it’s just where she lives that is not great. Her site is located pretty high up in the hills, and when on your way there you get an amazing view of the volcano and the laguna below. Gorgeous. And the town is really cute and small. Everything is really close together, unlike my site which is huge with everything spread out with far distances. That’s really nice- she is close to everything, and it’s just a lot more intimate. The town is full of friendly people and TONS of children that flock to Jamie in herds they love her and want to be near her so much. So yes, her site is amazing. Her house is not. 

The family is super nice and it’s clear they really care for her. It’s just that she has no privacy. Ever. The house she lives in is as big is my house that I have all to myself- maybe a bit smaller- and there are 7 people living in it! The family- The parents and their 4 children all sleep in one room together and they gave Jamie the other room to herself- well kind of. The room is pretty open to everything and the 4 little girls and family are always passing through. The kids come in and just sit and stare at her. They never leave her alone. They touch her things and have even stolen things from her! All of that alone is enough to drive someone crazy. But there’s more. Her host mom is severely depressed and it’s obvious. It’s concerning and awkward. She hardly responds when spoken too, just sits there staring in to space looking like she is on the verge of crying at all times. I even caught her staring directly at me and Jamie at times in a way that was creepy. As sad as it is that she is unhappy, what can Jamie do? She’s not a therapist. And even if she wanted to offer her an ear, advice or counseling... that would be tough to do without an advanced Spanish level. So yea, that would be hard to live with for 2 years. Her host dad is really nice... but also weird. He dressed up in his King costume for us. LoL. 

The living conditions are poor. But even though most people in our communities are poor, most of them still maintain very clean houses. Jamie’s house, not too clean.... really in the places where it matters most- the pila and the latrine. The latrine doesn’t even offer much for privacy, there’s a curtain but it barely covers it. So they just pee on the side of the house in the mud. I wasn’t very good at doing that with all the splashing. The food- not so good. I found a few bugs in my beans. The eggs were fried in so much oil.... And when she buys her own food to try to eat something different, the kids eat it up, and her money goes wasted. Not cool. For all this she pays triple what I pay in rent.... I pay $25 a month. Of course she is paying for food too. But beans, rice, and eggs don’t cost that much. (and the bugs are free!) And that’s basically what she gets there. So.... it’s a rip off. 

She said it herself... she needed to find another place to live. But as far as she knew, there was no where for her to go. There were no empty houses. 

So when we were at her neighbors house- they were some of the nicest people I have met- and I ended up asking them if they knew about there being any houses available. There was just one that they knew of. Newly built by a man that lives in the U.S. who has sent money for it to be built. But he lives there and doesn’t really have any intention of moving back any time soon. Maybe it’s just for when he comes to visit? I dunno... anyway the woman took us to look at it and oh my god... it’s like the Peace Corps Cribs dream house... really nice and beautiful. So we talked to the family of the owner who are going to talk with him about the possibility of J living there and she’ll tell her Monday she said. Hope that works out for her. That would be sweet! She’s working hard there. She deserves a home she feels comfortable in at the end of the day. Granted, I know this is Peace Corps... and part of Peace Corps is understanding the expectation that you may have to live under conditions of hardship... But we also have the right to our own space and privacy in our home... and to look for places to live that will provide that for us.

Fortunately, as I can fully appreciate now, I ended up somewhere pretty good to start off with. And like my dad says, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” And I am very thankful to be right where I am. I have started appreciating Marinita for all that she does for me instead of being annoyed by it. I fall more in love with this country everyday. I can’t believe I’m going to go home for a visit in February.  Whether I’m ready or not, I gotta take advantage of my airline credits I have...   It will be nice to go home for a few weeks and see my fam and eat good food... and I am going to stock up on all the american goods I can’t get here to bring home. 

Uh oh... I’m hearing a rustling. I haven’t seen or heard a rat in my house in a few weeks. Could they be back? 

I was looking forward to my run in the morning, but it poured rain tonight which means the soccer field will be muddy in the morning- which means I’m not going.

You know... a lot of times I go to use the latrine at my house and I am astonished at what terrible aim people have when peeing here. The seat is always wet! Ok there isn’t really a seat- just the cylinder of cement... but i call it a seat because, well, I sit on it. I have to at times.... when you have churria, as they call it here, you really can only squat for so long. Anyway, I found out that it’s not that Salvadorans are poor aiming pissers.... It’s because they keep lids on top of the cement hole and the heat from everything below kind of boils up and creates the moisture on the seat. Gross. That may be worse than just urine- the liquid condensation of years worth of excrement. Is a lid really necessary? Still... I’m not complaining... my latrine is way nice compared to others. 

I leave on Tuesday for my PreService Training 2 (PST2). Time is flying. 

Got some awesome packages from home today! Feel happy and loved! Can’t wait to eat the box of Velveeta Shells and Cheese they sent me! Just one box... so I will savor it! If only had brought Louisiana Hot Sauce with me to this country.

Paz y Amor.

The Land of the Unknown

Today I went to visit the only part of my village that I have yet to visit, because it is so far away. I was invited by a family to go out there weeks ago, and I had been putting it off because I wasn´t eager to walk all the way out there. And it is out there. So at 8 am this morning Mayra,13, and Idalia,11, came to meet me near my house and we started the 45 minute hike into the land of the unkown (well, unknown to me)... It was a beautiful walk. The roads out there are laid with stones and are covered with canopies of green from trees that have probably been there for hundreds of years. There are rivers, and pretty bridges that cross them, and hills that aren´t that fun to climb but sure are nice to look at. We got to their house- really old, made of sticks and mud.

It´s a whole different kind of poverty out there. I visited their school that only goes up to 6th grade... A lot of the people that live out their don´t continue their educations past that. If they want to, however, continue studying they can walk the 45 minutes to come to school everyday in my town. Only a handful of them do that, including Mayra and Idalia. They are so nice. They live in the darky little old dingy house with their mom, their uncle and their grandparents. They all share a room and beds. I am really impressed by them and their family though. They were talking to me about how they tell the girls they need to study and continue their educations and not get married and start a family at 14 years old like many of the other girls around here do. How sad to start a family so young- you dont even really know what you want when you are that age... and those girls sacrifice their childhoods and their bodies and their freedoms and they become baby machines and end up with 11 kids down the road. Anyway, their mom has been spending all of what little money she makes on sending her girls to computer classes in the city each week. The girls are pretty and clean and well dressed. I taught them how to make friendship bracelets and they loved that. I really enjoyed my time there. They fed me lunch too... It was hard to get down- some kind of tofu, potato mush, a salad, and a side of horchata. It wasn´t terrible. Each time I eat a salad here though I wonder- will this be the time I get amoebas? Just have to wait and see... Lately I have been able to eat all kinds of stuff and drink the water and I´ve been ok.

I visited their school out there. They need help. They have only 3 teachers for all grades- kinder through 6th. Each teacher teaches 3 grades all in the same classroom, all at the same time. That`s tough. They used to have a teacher for each grade, but lost some people. Probably because commuting to work their is crazy- an hour bus ride than a 45 minute hike. And it´s not like the government pays those teachers any more for going out there. So they probably take the jobs closer to home as soon as the opportunity arises. Also, the school principal is one of the teachers.... And their roof has huge holes in it and they desperately need a new one. That school makes the one I work for look state of the art.

Anyway... gotta get home and take my clothes off the line before the rain rolls in.

Paz y amor.

Blame it on the Boogie

PART I: LIttle Bit of Everything

I went to bed at 8 o’ clock last night and woke up at 8 o’ clock this morning. Wow. That was some good sleep. I kinda like going to bed early, but so that I will wake up early, at like 5 or 6. Never imagined I’d wake up at 8... I’m sure everyone was really worried about me. Anway....

So what’s been going on this week? Well after my Asamblea General on Tuesday some women came up to me and were like “So u say you want to start an exercise group huh? let’s go running on the soccer field tomorrow morning at 5:30.” I said ok... but man, getting up that early has always been so hard for me. But I did it. And they were there. It was actually a really nice run. It’s so much better to go then, rather than at 7 o clock when I was going and the sun was out and it was already way too hot. I liked it so much I woke up and did it again on thursday and friday! The women here are not well equipped for exercise... they run in their $300 plastic sandals they bought at the mercado. I had a number of grown ups show up and tons of kids for the first run. They are really out of shape... and I was pushing them.... They wanted to stop in sit down after just a few laps, but I kept ‘em going. We did 15 laps. No one showed up the next day... except 5 year old Elvin who runs laps around me. 

Friday I went to a unicef meeting at the mayor’s office. It was interesting, but a little unclear to me what it was about. The woman leading the meeting talked a lot about poverty in El Salvador, the broken families and what that means for the children. Because most kids here don’t live with both their parents, or even one of their parents... they were left to whomever so their parents could go to the states. A lot of the kids in my community who’s parents did leave for the states aren’t even getting much money sent to take care of them. They feel abandoned. And so it’s no wonder that something like 3 out of 4 kids here want to abandon El Salvador and go to the United States. The children want to be in a country that is successful and that gives them opportunity. They want to be where their families are... It must be really great there if their parents were willing to leave them behind to go. I don’t understand why the parents don’t take the children with them... 

Anyway, we talked about education initiatives we can start within the schools, to boost attendance and projects we can start that will keep kids active and benefit the environment. It really all starts with the parents. I would like to get involved with an Escuela de Padres, and have workshops to educate the parents about what they can do to better give their children what they need. How about setting limits for one. And making your child get out of bed and go to school even when they don’t want to. Holding them responsible for doing their homework. And let them be children. Too many of the kids here don’t really have a childhood... they are expected to work in the field and help in the house as soon as they are old enough to know how to do so. At the same time, their help is necessary to the functioning of the family. It’s a tough one to solve. 

Poor Milton. No one supervises him. When he gets bored and no one is paying attention to him he just takes off and runs around the town by himself. He’s only 3 years old... it’s not safe. Last week I was walking home and I found him hanging out with some bolos, drunks. He was entertaining them and they gave him a minuta, which is like a snow cone. I said, “Milton? What are you doing? Come on, let’s go home.” And I carried him home.... But he keeps leaving to go hang out outside of the house.... he will leave and wander to wherever he gets attention. Good or bad attention. He needs love... And he’s not getting it at home. He came back yesterday with a huge bloody purple bump on his head. He said he fell. It hurts my heart. He can’t be running around the streets by himself. I was told that about a year ago, a child his age was playing in the street when a bus came and he was run over and died. So it makes me angry that no one seems to care that my little friend is wandering around wherever to whatever. Pobrecito. 

PART II: Payaso’s Have No Pena- Why Should You?

Thursday was Día del Niño, and there was a big party at the school. A clown came and put on a show. It was pretty fun. Kids participated in all kinds of competitions... And then the clown wanted the teachers to participate in one, but around here people- especially adult women, have too much pena, or embarrasment- and they hate getting up in front of people to do anything. It get’s old because people are always using it an an excuse to not participate. I am the opposite- I hardly have pena about anything. So when they volunteered me for the game I was ready to go. I was supposed to do it with another teacher but since none of them would the clown told me to choose a student- I chose Lupita, my counterparts 9th grade sister who’s a good friend and has gone on house visits with me. Luckily she came up to play the game. 

The clown gives us a long strand of red yarn with a piece of candy tied in the center of it. We had to put the ends of the string in our mouths and without using our hands eat the string and the first one to get to the candy in the middle wins. Seemed kind of inappropriate, because if we both got to the middle at the same time we would be mouth to mouth, looking like we were kissing. I have a feeling that’s what the clown had in mind. So I purposely lost. I was laughing too hard I couldn’t do it anyway. 

It was also hilarious to see the “Who can do the best Michael Jackson dance?” competition among the little boys. It was pretty cute. 

At the end of the show those of us who don’t let our pena hold us down all danced... I’ve finally figured out how to dance bachata! I’m pretty excited about it! I want to learn some dances and have a dance class for kids!  was at my neighbors house last week and I got her to start dancing with me in the living room- she loved it! Now she’s always asking me when we are going to dance again! I would love to choreograph some stuff and work on it with kids and then put on a little dance show. Maybe I’ll go take dance lessons at this dance studio in San Vicente. The guy that works there and owns it is a nationally recognized dancer. That would be fun, and a good way to exercise.

I’m sitting here in my house right now- it’s almost 10:30... I told some people I would go to their house today at 10. The little girl was supposed to come pick me up from my house... but I haven’t seen her. Maybe she came and saw my door closed and had too much pena to come up to my house and just assumed I wasn’t home. Hmmm... Oh well, I’m kinda good either way. I have been busy every day this week I want to rest! And finish this blog.... Which is turning into a novel! But read on, if you will....

Friday after my unicef meeting I went to meet my friends Jamie and Hollie for lunch in San Vi. We went to Mexican restaurant that has a nice upstairs area and we like to go there because we usually have the entire place to ourselves and enjoy some privacy. Afterwards the girls came back to my town with me and we had a good night. I love having company... and my little house is perfect for sleepovers! I have 3 cots and 2 hammocks.... so visitors are welcome and the company much appreciated! I stayed up later than I’ve stayed up in a month... It was nice to just talk in English to someone who’s in my boat and share and compare experiences. Thus, I was super tired on Saturday- Woke up early to walk the girls to the bus stop. Had my neighbor Roxanna help me cut my wood for my shelves. Which was harder than I thought it would be.... You need some fuerza to cut wood. 

Then I went to the surprise Baby Shower for one of the teachers, Margarita. We went and had a nice lunch at a restaurant... I bought her baby a cute little baby blanket- luckily I was the only one to buy a blanket- everyone else all gave her diapers. I ate the salad that wasn’t clearned properly I’m sure and drank the beverage that was made with the dirty water from the tap.... Every time I’ve done that in the past I’ve spent the entire next day making frequent trips to the bathroom. But not today. I think my body is getting used to the parasites. This is a good thing. haha. I guess. 

One of the teachers wanted me to go spend the night at her house after the shower.... I really didn’t want to. She kept saying how Allison, the last volunteer would go spend the night at her house... And I’m like ok that’s great but I dont want to tonight- I had no clothes no toothbrush, nothing. I will probably do so in the future- But just didn’t want to yesterday. But I did go to her house and visit with her for a bit before going home. She’s cool, her husband is a policeman, and they just had their 3rd and last baby, Kimberley. Really cute kid. All the babies in this country wear red beaded bracelets on their wrists with one bead that looks like an eye. The infant mortality rate in this country is kind of high- And people believe that it protects their kid from the “Evil Eye.” They say that there are some people that are just evil and have the Ojo that when they look at the baby they can transfer some kind of evil power, like casting a spell on them or something and the baby gets sick and can die. The bracelet protects them and because there’s an eye on it the evil spirit will be drawn to look at that instead of the baby’s eye- something like that. 

Ate pupusas last night with the family who’s daughter Mayra left last week to go mojado to the states. Yesterday she was staying at a hotel near the Mexican border... waiting for night to come to cross the river. They get naked and put all their clothes and things in a trashbag and hold onto a floaty to cross. Wonder how she made out. How dangerous is it? Is the Rio Grande a rapid river? Really wide?

What a beautiful lazy Sunday I’m going to have. Today will be my day to decansar (rest) in the hammock. I deserve it. A lot of volunteers say that they spend a lot of time in their hammocks everyday... I never have that. I live with the most active family in the community and people here just seem very active in general.... So I’m always going and working like they are. Otherwise I’m afraid they’ll think I’m lazy. But today is Sunday... Today is my day! 

Paz y Amor.

Just a few things...

Don´t have too much time to write because I´m at school and today is Dia del Niño and we are having a huge celebration. They have big fiestas here all the time for everything. It´s cool. I helped with the decorations and tied a bunch of balloons to a string. Anyway... I feel like a big weight has been lifted off my shoulders, I got over the hill the was my Asamblea General and I can just chill and focus on making this place my home. And I really am starting to feel at home here. My house is coming along nicely. Yesterday I went shopping in San Vicente with my host parents and bought some more stuff... storage was an issue. I really like to be organized and have placed to put my stuff. So I got a plastic shelf drying rack thing for my dishes and then I got the coolest most economical book shelf! I´m proud of how resourceful I am! I bought some cinderblocks and planks of wood at a hardware store and i´m going to stack them to make a shelf! I bought some paint to make it pretty too. I have to cut the wood myself though. I have never cut wood with a saw before. Something simple but I am doing all kinds of new things down here!

And today I woke up for the second day in a row at 5:30 am to go running at the soccer field. Crazy. Never in my life have i gotten up that early to exercise. And because of it, I´m going to bed super early like 8 or 9. Just like the salvadoreños. So if i can keep this up, I wont have an issue with people calling me early and freaking out that I dont answer the phone at 6:30 anymore. I really am starting understand why they go to bed early and wake up early. Its so hot here during the day, it´s really nice to wake up and get lots done in hte morning before it gets too hot. My host mom was shocked this morning because I actually woke up before she did!!! Who is this Amy?

Something I think is weird... When I go to San Vicente with Don Chepito and Marinita we usually go eat at a restaurant together. Marinita doesn´t expect me to pay for their lunch like when I´m alone with Don Chepito. But I don´t mind buying them lunch, it´s so cheap anyway and they give me a free ride to the city and carry stuff back in the truck for me. What I think is weird is that when we go, Don Chepito always makes sure to be the last one in line to get his food, and then me and Marinita go sit down and he goes and sits by himself at another table far away from us. Why doesn´t he sit with us? I always think it´s weird. Maybe he wants a break from talking or something. Whatever.

Ok the party is starting! Gotta go! Amor!

Asamblea General = Success!

From 10-19

Asamblea General = Success! I am so happy to have that checked off my list. I was kind of nervous about it because my boss the program director was coming and she came with my regional leader. I had everything prepared- my speech, a poster about me, a map of my community that I made with some youth. I even made a little power point to share some pictures I have taken around the community, but of course- the power went out at the school this afternoon so I couldn’t show it. Funny how there is power there EVERY afternoon except for when I have my assembly.  The powerpoint wasn’t a big deal, but having the microphone would have been nice. Because I had well over 100 people show up and talking to that many people without a microphone can strain the voice. And it did. But I did well anyway. When i was talking everyone was very quiet and intent on listening. After I was done the school principal and teachers led a meeting- something about disaster prevention with hurricanes I think. I dont know I couldn’t really follow. I thought it was just me because I had just given the big speech and was tired after giving it so I couldn’t pay attention well enough to understand. But later my neighbors told me that had no idea what they were talking about either! That they understood me and everything I said perfectly, but once the others started talking they had no idea what was going on. HEY! that’s a good thing!

I had a mesa de honor where I had all of the important people sit- like my Community Guides, Host parents, Community leaders, etc. And I had my community map was huge- I asked people to come up and mark where their houses are on the map to get a little participation. Of course it was kinda hard to have all those people do it... I never imagined I’d have that many! A lot of people left without doing it, but at the same time, there were a lot of people getting into it.  I finished the meeting off with plans to go to two peoples houses this week, and a date with some girls to teach me some soccer skills next monday. Eek. Soccer. I don’t know if it’s my thing but I’ll try.

I straightened my hair and put on make up for the first time in a month for my meeting today. I felt like a different person from the Amy that’s been walking around all grubby. It was weird. And everyone that saw me was shocked and all “WOW” because they’ve haven’t seen me cleaned up like that. I was like- C’mon do I really look that different? I guess I did, by the way they were acting. And I admit, around here- most days I don’t even look in a mirror. It’s somewhat liberating... but at times maybe not so good. The excessive amounts of tortillas here are making me fat. I made a date with some girls to go running at 5:30 in the morning tomorrow. yikes. I am gonna get up and go, as much as I hate myself for committing to it. Last time I made a date to run at 6:30 with some different girls, the girls didn’t show up. I wouldn’t be surprised if that happens tomorrow. But I do what I say I’m gonna do.  And an early morning run would be good for me. I run in my keen hiking shoes. They’re comfy, just a little heavy. I was stupid not to bring my running shoes to this country.

I sort of get internet at my house now. As terrible as the connection is I am happy to have it. It’s too weak for skype, and browsing the net, but it is good enough for checking email and chatting a bit.

People here eat cucumbers with hot sauce, lime, salt, and some weird powder that i dont know what it is. That’s become my favorite snack here. As those closest to me know... I am a sucker for anything with hot sauce on it!

Also I have become very fond of chocobananas. They freeze bananas and dip them in the hard shell chocolate. Is it bad to eat 3 bananas in one day? Probably too much isn’t it? Ok... need to cool it with the chocobananas.

I Was Just Sleeping... And Wish Me Luck

From 10-17

This morning I was sleeping and my phone rang at 6:30. I heard it but I was not about to get out of bed to answer it... Who the heck calls you at 6:30 in the morning? Ummm, well Salvadorians do apparently. They wake up so early around here that they think nothing of it. So when my phone rang again at 7:30 i decided to get out of bed and answer it... It was my community guide, Ariel. He asked me what I was doing and I said I was sleeping of course... He said oh well are you sick? No... I was just sleeping. Where I come from it is perfectly normal to be sleeping at 6 and 7 in the morning. He said "Oh well I was worried about you because you didn´t answer, so I´m here at your house." What!? I roll my eyes. Perfect example of cultural differences right there. So I had to get dressed and go outside and I was a little cranky, still in my morning mode and a little irked that I missed my coffee and raisin bran for a much less healthy breakfast of pupusas and sweet bread. Eh, so I let it go. Just gotta go with the flow around here. They were really just concerned about me. I explained I was not at all sick and that it´s normal for me to wake up at 8 or so. I hope that the next time this happens they will remember that. I dont think I will ever be able to wake up at 4 and 5 am like they do. No way.

Last night I went to eat pupusas at my neighbor Alicia´s house. She opens her house to sell them every weekend, which I was super excited to find out about because I love me a pupusa dinner. I had heard that Alicia´s daughter had left for the U.S. earlier that day so when I showed up and asked her how she was doing she said she was sad naturally. SHe started explaining how her daughter, who is a 17 year old beauty, has this boyfriend in the US that sent money to some guy that lives in San Salvador that neither of them know and he is supposedly driving her to the border where she will cross illegally. Sounds scary and dangerous. Which is exactly why Alicia burst into tears as she told me about it and so I hugged her. And there she was, the fattest sweetest Salvadoran woman crying into my chest because she´s so short... and we stood there for a long time before she let go. It was really a strange moment... one that I will remember. I hope that her daughter Mayra makes it there safely.

There are two guys from San Miguel staying at Don Chepito´s house tonight. They are walking vendors and they spend 3 days at a time walking all around the country selling stuff that they carry on their backs. They carry tons of brooms, hammocks, folded up bulky matresses and other household goods. It´s A LOT to be carrying around all day. What a tough way to make a living. Why don´t they just park themselves in a good spot in the city where there is lots of foot traffic and the people can come to them. Everyone goes to the city to buy that stuff anyway. And you get better prices there. And more options. People sell that stuff in the street all over the place in the city. I don´t get it.

I went to a soccer game for the first time in my community yesterday. It was nice... except for all the girls I was chatting with left and then I felt awkward sitting there watching the game by myself when there were mostly just men around. My neighbor friend said she and her friends would come to the game. But when I didnt see her there halfway through I decided to take off. As soon as I got to the gate of the field there I saw them. I was like "HEYYYY! There you guys are! Why didn´t yall come down where I was sitting?" I knew they could see me down there sitting by myself from where they were. My friend said "Tengo pena" to go down there. Which is like, I am too shy and embarrassed to have the guts to show my face there. I´m like ugh. Pena is a serious problem for women around here. It keeps them from saying what they want, doing what they want and just living their lives and having new experiences. El Salvador is very much a man´s world. Anyway, we watched the rest of the game from above outside the fence... it was nice and there was a beautiful sunset in front of the view of the volcano.

10-18

Tomorrow it is going to happen. My Asamblea General in which I present myself to the community and tell them what I am here to do. YIKES! I get myself all worked up about stuff like this. It really won´t be that big of a deal. I´m just going to give a speech basically. Nothing too exciting. I wanted to plan something awesome and fantastic, but it never came to me. I did decide to do a dance with some of the girls... but we haven´t had enough time to practice and i´m afraid that part is falling through. That´s allright... anyway tomorrow when it´s over I will feel much more relaxed about things. It should go just fine. But there should also be a ton of people because the school principal set it up to where the parents need to come and turn in their uniforms the same day and it´s rather clever. She´s kind of trapping them here for my assembly. So yea... should be a couple hundred people... and I¨m going to give a speech in spanish in front of them all. WOW! Not at all intimidating. haha. Wish me luck.

Flying Solo in the Capital

The time is flying! I have been much happier the past few days.... getting more settled in and feeling more comfortable as the people in my community get to know me better. Plus, I went to the capital yesterday and found nutella and pretzels that I brought back with me! How could a girl not be happy when she’s got nutella!? YUM! I actually found it at Hiper Paiz... the Latin American Wal-Mart. I went into San Salvador early in the morning with my friend Jamie, and where the bus lets off, there is the Hiper Paiz. We had to take advantage of our time there.... And as we walked up to the doors of the store we were grinning ear to ear.... I know, it’s sick.... But we were SO happy to be going in there. It had felt like so long since we have seen civilization. And there we were in a store that felt just like home. I never thought I’d be so happy to see a Wal-Mart. I bought myself a soft fluffy pillow to replace the rock hard one i’ve been using. It was totally worth dragging around with me all day! And the only other stuff I bought was American food that you can’t find outside of the capital. I found nature’s valley granola bars, quaker oatmeal, and the nutella. I was shocked they don’t have peanut butter. I have been looking for peanut butter everywhere... have yet to see it. The store definitely didn’t have all things that a Wal-Mart at home does... but it had a lot.


I was very proud that I made it safely around San Sal yesterday without getting lost at all! I had to get on at least 10 different buses yesterday... and I didn’t see a single scary looking G or creepy clowns on my bus. The bus back to San Vicente was even air conditioned and nice like a greyhound. We did spend a little too much time at the Hiper Paiz shopping though, so I was a few minutes late for my doctor appointment- the reason I was going to the capital in the first place. But all was fine with that. We did hit a bump in the road however when it came to the post office, where Jamie was picking up a package sent from home. It was sent to San Vicente but for some reason they sent it to the capital to be searched. So she had to find the post office in the capital and when she went there she ended up waiting for 2 hours to get her box... It was really confusing about why they were making her sit and wait when the box was just sitting right there on the other side of the counter. Finally she got it after much frustration, turns out the computer system was down or something and they had to wait for it to come back up before she would be authorized to take it. But man, those 2 hours blew our chances of finding and eating at the Thai rastaurant we had heard was around there somewhere. So we ended up going to Tony Roma’s, having a few beverages and appetizers- buffalo wings, potato skins, mozzerella sticks! oh my! So yea- y’all back home don’t need to worry about me starving down here or missing american food... i can get it all in just an hour’s bus ride. Going to the capital feels like going to a different world. It’s like a mini-vacation. Like being at home. It’s great! Ooooh American commercialism. Other things in the capital- KFC, Pizza Hut, Wendy’s, Quizno’s, McDonalds, Burger King, Sushi, Subway, TGI Friday’s...I’m probably missing a few but that should give u a good idea of how it is. What’s funny is a lot of those places I never eat at at home... but here it’s like a real treat to get a fast food burger. Next time I go to the capital though I’m just going to stay the night... It was crazy running around trying to get everything done to get back on time.


Anyway, we rushed back to San Vi where my host dad was waiting for us at the bus stop to take us back home. Jamie came back to my site with me for the night. We had a good time just the two of us. We were sitting outside the door of my house chilling with the cows right next to us... And Jamie decided she wanted to go pet them or something. So I grab my camera and I’m taking pictures of her hanging out with the cows in the dark field... and when we were done with the little photo session she stepped right in the cow patty that had been laid out in front of her. At least she didn’t sit in the cow patty! It was pretty hilarious... I had to bring water from the house for her to wash off the poo... and in doing so my dog got set off and was barking so loud and the whole entire neighborhood’s dogs started barking... probably waking up all the neighbors. It’s so quiet in the campo at night... It feels like you can hear everything. But the field that my house sits on is really nice and pretty, especially at night. You can see thousands of fireflies flying close to the ground lighting up, and the cows are calm and laying down, and sky is clear with bright stars and there’s a cool breeze... It’s muy tranquilo. I love it. And when I’m sitting out there soaking it all in... it’s moments like that where I feel so happy with being here and there’s no where else I’d rather be.


Allright- Well I have to go to the school now. I’m meeting with a group of girls to learn a dance. I have my general meeting with the town on Tuesday to explain who I am and what I plan to do here... Well I thought I would spice things up a little by surprising my audience with a folkloric dance... done by your’s truly. I think they’ll get a kick out of it. I’m going to where the traditional dress too! :)

Fillin my Half Empty Cup

Last night it happened. What I was afraid of. I woke up to some rustling noise, and there was a rat directly above me, chilling on top of my mosquito net.... Chewing holes in it. WTF rat. Why are you so intent on terrorizing me. I sat up, stared at him above me with my mini mag lite shining up at him... I was trying to get the courage to hit him and make him fall off. He must have sensed what was coming, because just as I was about to do it jumped. Then I tried to go back to sleep... but I couldn’t close my eyes without seeing the image of an ugly rat in my head. Oh and excuse me, the He-rat is probably a She-rat... the one that’s been dropping baby rats in my house. I can’t have holes in my mosquito net. What’s he trying to do? .... get inside and chew on me next? Ugh. Ballsy little she-rat. I’m going to try to lock one of my host mom’s cats in my house with me tonight. So... To Be Continued....

In other news, my fan club came over to draw and color yesterday. The first official meeting of the color club. There were 9 children in my house... ages 3 to 9. It went great! They did great work, and I hung the best ones up on my wall. Good cheap decorations. I had them sign their names on the bottom of their drawings so I could remember who did each one. I told Norma, who is 6 or 7 years old, to write her name on her paper, and she just shook her head no. I said “Do you know how to write you name Norma?” Another head shake for no. I was kinda surprised... the 4 year old on the other side of the table from her knew how to write his name. Anyway, I wrote her name for her and told her she could copy it. But then I saw she didn’t know how to make the letters. So step by step I showed her which lines and curves to make each letter. After she did it she was all smiles and really excited. Heck, I was really excited! It’s fun to get opportunities like that to teach someone something so simple but so necessary. On her next drawing she took it upon herself to write her name on her own... It spelled Morma. LoL. It was close!

The Color Club!



In my house, in front of the wall where I was putting up their art!



Yesterday was 10-10-10. Maybe that has something to do with why I woke up feeling so strange. Never mind the fact that I’m the only American girl living in an isolated farm town in the middle of El Salvador... I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I got up and put my shoes on to go for a run at the soccer field. As soon as I walked out of my house there was one of the old lady neighbors there trying to sell a little wooden table for $15. It was actually a decent table- one that I could use because I dont have many places to put books and stuff. I was just cranky about it though. Well, in general I am cranky when I wake up in the morning. When I was in high school I remember I would freak out on people if they even tried to talk to me in the morning. Through the years my morning mood has improved, but the crankiness still exists a little. I was just a little annoyed that it was first thing in the morning, I walk out my door and there’s someone trying to sell me something.

People are always coming to the house selling stuff, wanting your money. I’ve seen people selling Hello Kitty pillows, crap made in China, Sweet Bread, Pizza, sandwiches, soap, beef, chicken, eggs, and the list goes on. Sometimes it’s actually kind of nice if you get to purchase something you really like and without having to leave the house. But really, it’s not cool. Everyday you have the opportunity to spend money. I just don’t really like the principal of it. But I understand that people here really do need the money and that if it´s something I need and I have the money to buy it, it helps them put food on their table.

I’m sure it was all over my face that I was annoyed, and at the same time my host mom was discussing the sale with me, but talking with all this food in her mouth. People here don’t use forks either, they just eat with their hands and with tortillas. She was telling me how the woman needed to sell it because she needed money to buy food. And I really could use the table... so I gave her $13 for it. I like it. I just hope people aren’t coming to the house targeting me for their sales because they think I’m the rich American girl. One woman brought a long-sleeved shirt to sell me- 75 cents. It’s El Salvador- I have no need for long sleeved shirts. I declined.

Then there’s the situation with the table for my house. Marinita gave me the big table from her house and now there’s no where for people to eat when she has guests. A lot of the time she will move the table back to her house. I want to get my own big table so we don’t keep moving the same one back and forth between houses. So I asked her to find out how much it would cost to get one made by the guy that made me a little wooden one for my kitchen for $15. When the guy said the price would be $70 I said, Sorry that’s a lot. I would rather buy the cheap plastic ones, they’re only $18 each. But when Marinita told him I wasn’t interested and she saw he was upset, she felt bad. So she told him she would buy it when she had the money. Then she had this idea that we’d split the cost and I’d give her the table at the end of my 2 years here. I said ok to that. That’s a good deal. Although it’s kinda weird- she wouldn’t be spending the money if she had the guts to say no to someone. She is an extreme people pleaser... Feels bad if she doesn’t buy something from every person that comes to this house. That explains why they are here selling stuff all the time. I think Marinita has some money though. All of her kids went to the U.S. illegally and live in Boston and send her money. Well, now I’m going to have a nice big table.

Sometimes when I think about it- How every single person here has tons of family in the U.S.... I am in awe of how flooded our country is with illegal immigrants. It’s crazy. And more and more our pouring in everyday. And as much as I understand why they go- drawn to a better way of life... I just can’t help but wonder how much the U.S. can take. Eventually we will be overflowing with them... We won’t be able to sustain them all.... What do you think will happen if they keep coming? or contrarily- What do you think would happen if we closed the borders? Either way we lose.
On the plus side- these millions (or billions?) of immigrants to the U.S. bring with them their flavorful cultures- and that’s part of what makes my country so special.

Yesterday I was going a little crazy though. Adapting to my new life here can be extremely challenging at times. After I came home from my run, I was ready to wash some clothes on the rock... As I was doing so, I had Marinita talking to me a lot- And when she talks to me she usually feels like she has to repeat herself 2 or 3 times... and sometimes she even talks really loud like I’m deaf. It can be annoying. So she was doing that, and there was some really loud obnoxious church music blasting from the house and I’m standing there hearing all this buya, what they called noise, and scrubing my clothes on the rock and just thinking about where I was and how I was going to be there for two years and feeling like it was all too much in that moment- I had to run to my house and take a breather. I even cried a little. Just a little. But you know that’s ok, it’s going to happen sometimes. Don’t worry about me. I just needed to take some time for myself. Make sure I can check out from time to time...

After some deep breaths, I returned to my wash with my iPod to drown out the buya. It helped a lot. And I also reminded myself that how I feel here is all about my attitude. So I decided to smile a little more when Marinita talks to me, and to not be so cranky. She really cares for me and is always willing to go out of her way for me. And being in a bad mood- what for? I am in an amazing place doing amazing things. I really think I can live here happily for the next two years... as long as I always make sure to take some time for myself. So I went on to have a great day after that... I felt even better that I got to talk to my good buddy Sarah and my brother Evan. Staying in touch with home is really important to me and lifted my spirits a lot. I love y’all. Hey- I am going to try to come home in January because I have some airline credits to use up. :) Can’t wait for that!

Ok, time to go to school and help teachers and hang out with kids!


Paz y Amor!


All theír artwork. Makes for cheap decorations!



Home Ties

Spending the day in the City... taking care of my weekly shopping. Had a great homecooked meal of spaghetti and salad compliments of Jamie. Mmmm! What a treat!

Things are going well. Yesterday I gave a little speech in front of about 75 people from my community. They were gathering for their regular meeting with the ADESCO (kinda like a city council). It went ok... A bit awkward to stand in front of all those people and talk in Spanish. And they all just sat their with very straight serious faces. I couldn't tell if they like me by the looks of their faces. And I passed out invitations to my own personal assembly that I'm having in a few weeks. It's going to be at 1:30... I didn't get to choose the time, my bosses did. A lot of people told me that they would not be able to come because it's too early in the afternoon. Most people are still working at that time. But it's going to be at the school, so a lot of the youth will be there I know that for sure. It's supposed to be my official presentation to the community about who I am and what I am there to do. My program director comes and everything. I want it to be great.

Next week I have to travel to the capital for a doctor's appointment. YIKES! I hope I can find someone to go with me. I dont want to go alone. I have to find the peace corps office, and I've only been there once so I'm not exactly sure where it is. I will probably just call our approved taxi service to make sure I get there ok.

I'm participating in the Peace Corps' World Wise Schools program and I'm corresponding with my friend Katie's class at the school I taught at last year. It's really fun! I sent them my first letter last week and Katie told me she shared it with her 8th graders and that the kids got really excited. Some of the students were in my class last year, which makes it even more special. Many of the students are from Latin America, and even El Salvador. It's a great opportunity for the kids to talk about where their from and be more culturally aware. I'm told they really loved my stories about the bathroom, the rats, and all the other critters I live with. We are going to be doing a pen pal thing for the rest of the school year! And my other friend that works at the school told me that some of my old students that went on to high school this year came back to the school to visit me. They were really sad to hear I was gone and they asked my teacher friend that keeps in touch with me to give me an update on how they were doing. It's really nice to know that they felt we had a good relationship. That's the special thing about being a teacher. My students I taught will probably never forget me. Makes me feel like I actually made a difference in their lives :) And it's awesome that I can continue to teach them from all the way down here.

I like my host house a lot. The set up is perfect. I have my own house to the side of my host family's house. But they can be a little overbearing sometimes. My host mom is always on top of me offering me food and every night after I eat dinner she walks me outside to my house and gives me a hug to say goodnight. It's sweet, and I know it's because she cares about me... but I hope to eventually have a little more independence. On the upside, because she walks me into my house at night, she has been there everytime I found a scorpion, a snake, and baby rats to kill them for me. She's ruthless. We have some really good laughs too. But I'm kind of regretting that I already said that I would stay there my whole two years. Kinda jumped the gun on that one. There's another house that I have the option of moving to that's a little closer to the school, and it's right next to a house where just a little old lady lives and runs a store. She seems a lot more chill and like she wouldn't be all up in my business like these host parents are. Plus, my house now- my family stores stuff in it, so they are coming in and getting stuff out of it... and sometimes my mom goes in there to clean it and stuff. I'm a bit territorial, and I don't want to worry about people coming in my house... or worry about what I leave laying out that I dont want them to see. I guess I could always change my mind in the future, and say that I really do want to live closer to the school... but that wouldn't go without hurting their feelings I'm sure. We'll see what happens.

Allrighty, time to go do my last bit of shopping before I catch the bus! It's an hour bus ride back to my canton. At least they play music on it. That makes it more entertaining. Okey dokey!

Paz y amor.

In which I confess...

Every morning this week I have gone for a run as soon as I get out of bed. I live right next to the soccer field, which makes it convenient. You can’t run anywhere else here- the roads are too rocky, I’d probably break an ankle. Well, even parts of the soccer field are too rocky... and there are cow patties all over it... but it’s do-able. It’s not easy for me working out after waking up. I’ve never been accustomed to doing so. And I end up feeling tired the rest of the day because of it. Hopefully that goes away when you get used to doing it all the time.

So when I get to the soccer field- all the kids in the houses above it see me down there and they all come running down to sit and they just watch me run in circles. It’s cute how fascinated they are by me. I try to play with them a little after I’m done if I have time. They had a blast copying me and doing all of the stretching exercises I was doing. Cute kids.

I went to my neighbor’s house today and helped them make pan (bread) in a huge adobe dome oven... it was cool. Those ovens cook things so much faster than the conventional kind. It was tasty. But I saw them put a huge block of lard and a huge bag of sugar in it. Of course it tasted good!

Washing my clothes by hand is becoming more and more annoying. It takes soooo long. And then it takes two days of hanging it out in the sun to dry.

Even more annoying are my encounters with the rats in my house. This week I walked in my house after having dinner with Chepito and Marinita and found newborn baby rats. The first time it happened there were 3 of them just laying on the ground. And then the second time it was just one- but it was in my frying pan on my stove! Gross! I eat food out of that! I just laughed about it though and took pictures. I have never seen baby rats before. Don Chepito took them outside and whacked them with his machete. Marinita was with me both times that i found them. She told me she is so embarrased about it. I told her “Naw, don’t be! I’ve had rats in every house I’ve ever lived in. It’s normal.” Lie. I just wanted to make her feel better. Truth- I’ve never seen a wild rat before! I’m surprised- it’s really not that big of a deal. I am slowly becoming immune to the “Ewww” factor when it comes to critters.

There’s something I did a while ago that I feel really bad about. It was my first morning here in San Jacinto and Marinita was giving me so much food for breakfast that it would have fed me for the entire day. I finally made it through most of the food on my plate... when she brought me a cup of chocolate milk. It was milk straight from the vaca- which means heavy and fatty... and I just couldn’t fit it in. I was in this frame of mind that I had to eat everything she gave me to get her to love me and for her to think I loved her. As i’ve said before... it’s a big deal here how much you eat.

Well- I had heard about a volunteer that will put food in her pockets are feed it to the dogs, and make it seem like she ate it all. As bad as I feel about wasting food- In that moment, it sounded like a good idea. I couldn’t drink it. But I couldn’t put a beverage in my pocket. I was on the front porch- and I saw the grass to the side. Ahhh, I’ll just dump it in the grass when she’s not looking! I thought. I talked myself out of it and back into it several times. Finally when she walked inside I went for it... and dumped the milk onto the ground over the short fence that perimiters the porch. Uh oh. There was concrete on the other side of it... no grass. So there was a huge mess of splashed milk and quickly came all the dogs and the chickens to lick it off the ground. I still don’t know today if they noticed. What a terrible idea. I felt really bad. Ever since then I have decided to just not eat the food and risk Marinita being offended. It’s better than possibly being caught wasting it. And still when you walk on the side of the porch... you can see white drip stains from the milk... Evidence that something weird happened there. I tried to clean it up and scrub it when they were out one day, but now it’s baked into the concrete from the sun, and looks like bleach spilt or something. Lo siento mucho for that.

Well I have a big day ahead of me tomorrow! I’ll be presented at the community assembly where there should be a ton of people. I’ll probably have to give a little speech on a microphone. Yikes. OK bed time!