Don't Piss on Today

"Don't get stuck in the past, and don't try to fast-forward yourself into a future you haven't yet earned. Give today all the love and intensity and courage you can, and keep traveling honestly along life's path." -Someone with nice words


I have ALOT of time for self-reflection here. With all this thinking time it's all to easy for me to spend too much time dwelling on the past and worry about the future. But like Mama says, "If you have one foot on yesterday and one foot on tomorrow... well then, you are pissing on today."  I am lucky to have this opportunity. I am learning so much about myself. About the kinds of things I want and need in my life...... That is me putting a positive spin on how crazy I have been feeling lately. Haha. I am just realizing how much I need and value structure in my day-to-day schedule. Being in Peace Corps, you have to make this structure for yourself. Otherwise you will just piss away every day lying in your hammock and reading books and going to the capital given an opportunity. It's a bit harder for some than others... I have sort of hit the wall. I have to get some kind of work schedule in my life here. Thank god school is starting up... I am excited to have a place to go to everyday now where I can do good things at. I spent most of my afternoon today meeting with the school director reviewing all kinds of things I can help out with there. This school is way better equipped than many rural public schools in El Salvador, but still, it needs SO much. So I'm going to focus myself on working at the school now.

Yes, I have this youth group. Well... things have taken a new direction with them. We had two pretty awesome weeks of selling pupusas to raise money for our activities. We raised a good amount of money. Then this week, we decided to sell quesadillas instead. One girl ended up doing all the work because none of the people that were supposed to help her showed up, pobrecita. And what were they doing instead? Just sitting in their houses. So we decided she should earn all the money since absolutely no one helped except for me. Participation is a problem around here. It's a shame because these are some really cool kids and I have a lot of fun with them when they are actually participating. It's just how do you motivate them, you know? We are going to have a descanso, or break, from the group until I get back from Texas. Then we will reorganize and try it over again, learning from our mistakes the first time around.

I decided I wanted to take those kids that have been dedicated to the group since we got started on a small excursion. They will get to have something nice from the money they have earned together. I asked them about going to the movies... and well, turns out not a single one of this kids have EVER been to a movie theatre. They were really excited about this idea. I was surprised that every single one of them said the same, that they hadn't been. But why should I be so surprised. Perhaps sometimes I forget how poor the people are that I live with in this town. Maybe because they all dress up, way nicer that I ever do for the campo (who wears high heels on a dirt road?), and maybe because I live with the richest people in town that have painted walls and tile floors instead of mud, and drive around in a car. Anyway, I think that it will be a really fun, unforgettable experience to take these kids (adolescents and young adults) to San Salvador to go to the movies for the first time. We will go one of these weekends before I go to Texas.

One month from now, I will be hanging out in Houston with my peeps. What? What will that be like? I have never been away from home this long in my life. 7 months it will be. I can't wait to see everyone, and I keep thinking of all my favorite foods I'm going to eat. Pho, Which Wich, Potbelly, Thai, El Tiempo... the list goes on. All of this gets me pretty excited. I already made a list of all the crap I can't get here that I am going to buy and take back here with me. LoL... This is not the Peace Corps I imagined, let me tell you that.

I have been spending a lot time talking to Don Chepito lately... he likes to preach a lot about God and the importance of the people being united. Truthfully, most of what he says is really nice, a lot of BS, but nice nonetheless. Sometimes it's a bit much, but in some ways of reminds me of the Balinese guy in the book Eat Pray Love that advises Liz on her life. I came home tonight and told Chepito I was bummed about my youth group losing it's strength, well he came at me with all kinds of pep- Telling me I can't be desanimada or triste... not losing hope, God put me here in this community to do good things, and yada yada... Let's just say it was a good talk. I like being real with them. Just don't ever tell hardcore Salvo catholics that you want to be cremated when you die... these guys gasped and haven't forgotten since the day I told them months ago. Still preaching to me all the time about how my body is in God's image and you can't burn that. But regardless, I'm getting closer with these viejitos. Still, I think I am going to have to move, so I can be closer to things that go on around here.

One more thing I learned- Don't give food to random men on the street in your village. I bought too many pasteles yesterday.... I knew I was never going to eat them all. They are like fried corn pockets with potato and cheese inside. Soon my way home I was thinking, "these are all just going to go to waste, why not give them to that guy?" So I gave them to the guy, then when he saw me walking home today he went to shake my hand and wouldnt let go and kept giving me these overyly creepy eye winks. Creep-O. I hate it when the men here do that thing where they won't let your hand go. Thank god I was with Don Macario, who is a perfectly sweet and respectable older man, or else that would have been even more awkward. Going to try to avoid that fat shirtless man with all gold-rimmed teeth from now on.

Maybe that's not the best note to end on, but I'm tired, so... signing off.
See you soon Texas!!!
Paz y Amor.