Could I Be...?

Let me ask you all an honest question...


If you were poor as dirt with no money... living in a mud hut... with nothing to eat but beans and corn and tortillas and what you grow...

Would you leave your family and your dearest loved ones to travel to a far away land to never come back... but to work in a more financially prosperous place and send them money for them to live off of? Would you?

I wonder about this sometimes. Salvadorans leave their families... sometimes to never see them again. Or it may be decades between visits. Until they have the papers to be able to come visit... But with the rare occasion that visits even be a possibility aside... They maintain connections with family through phone calls and moneygrams and other presents sent through travelers... Is that enough?

Is it worth it?

To lose that closeness you have with them to be able to have money and nice things? I mean... they can live like they always have. In their huts. Living off what they grow. It's their closeness. But people are drawn to modern materials.... like blackberries... nice TVs... is it worth it? What a strange country El Salvador is.... nearly EVERYONE has someone up there sending them money to live off of. And I often wonder... would I do the same thing? In their position...

I mean... I know that I myself have chosen to live a life apart from my family. But I have more means by which I can go visit them...skype with them... I have papers... and money for flights... But if I didnt have all of that. Would I say goodbye to my family like that forever? I dont know. What a hard decision. What a hard life.

I am blessed.

Well... today I had my biggest event yet with the youth of my community. I invited them all... all the youth from my community of over 1000 people to come on over and participate in this event in which we elected the Youth Council of the community. This Council I will be working with closely over my next year to plan events for all of the community youth. It went pretty well. I invited a few members of the City Council to help with the official voting process... Which involved putting a bean in a paper envelope with the candidates names on them. Beans were counted by the official city council members and at the end of it all I am left with the group of kids that is my youth council.

It was a bit stressful on me... I could not tell if I was sweating so much just because it was hot as hell or if because I was nervous about running this event on my own. I chalk it up to nerves... because no one else seemed to be hot! LoL... but it's over! thank goodness! I had been putting this thing off since June. Finally I got it done. My community can see that I follow through on things.. doesnt matter that it's months late. It's El Salvador. As long as you get there eventually. But it was pretty cute. Kids gave us their nominations. I wrote the names on papers I had taped to the wall... and then while they put their beans in for their votes I played their favorite reggaeton music to create a nice ambiente (environment). Coulda gone worse. As far as I'm concerned.... EXITO! Success! I got it done! And the kids elected are pretty good ones. So I'm happy. Now I just have to spend the next 5 or 6 months having meetings with them and guiding them while they plan their work. I'll slowly start letting them work on their own... until a year from now, when I'm gone... Hopefully they will continue voting for and electing new rounds of youth councils to take on the work... Sustainable, that's what we're shooting for. Because these kids on the council will be planning educational and recreational activities for all the communities kids... So that they stay out of trouble, off the streets, and put their time into productive, skill building, character building activities.

Whoa. I think I am a real Peace Corps Volunteer. I have to say... I am feelin' kinda successful. Let's keep this going. That's what Year 2 will be all about. Making it happen. Making sure that I am making a difference here. I want that when I leave here for some of the things I started to keep going. For people to continue experiencing good in their lives.

I am grateful to be here. I am grateful for my wonderful, unique, awesome life. For all that I am capable of and for all the possibilities that my future brings... Opportunities to continue doing good things. That is what I want. I want to continue going through life and looking for ways that I can help people. That kind of work is the most rewarding.

Ha! sh*t. Listen to me. Sometimes I feel all beat up like I can't go any further. But I keep going... and then I have an event like the one I had today, that I worked hard to plan, and it turns out to be a success... and I'm like WHOA... this is awesome, let's do this. It's just funny because often I dont "feel like" doing these things. I kinda feel like I might just want to cancel them. I just want to get them over with. But I don't cancel them. I do them. I decide, so what, I'm gonna do it, even if I look dumb in front of my entire community. What do I have to lose really? I'm out of here in a year... I won't be here forever. So let me make a fool of myself. And things always turn out better than I can even hope for. So what have I been such a pessimist for? I need to start believing in myself. That I can really do this. That I actually am doing it. And that I actually am kind of good at it.

So how 'bout that?

Well... Tomorrow is Sunday and I'm going to church with my host mom at 8:30... which I am sure she is thrilled about. I said I'd go because I don't really have anything else going on tomorrow, since Noel's in the Oosa and everything..........So what the hell. I'm going to mass. Won't hurt me. And then Monday I'm going to get all the stuff for my vocational workshop figured out, that is supposed to start on the 19th. We're gonna learn how to makes breads and pizza and donuts, folks! Ain't that sustainable? I have lots of young ladies interested in learning this trade so they can start making and selling bread of their own. Will be tons of fun! Pictures of my youth group and the baking group to come soon!

Marinita, my host mom, walked over to my house this evening just to tell me about her friend in the town over who had her door open at about 8 pm and 4 men entered her house and robbed her and her family of everything they had of value. She came to tell me so that I would shut my door when it gets dark... because sometimes I get caught up in what I'm doing, or I just like the way the breeze feels with the door open. But anyway, the town over is known to be a lot more dangerous than where I live. Besides... I have the police station in my front yard. I'm pretty confident no one would come mess with me here. I'm pretty good at screaming quickly upon being surprised. Don't worry about me. I feel safe here.

Hope all my friends in Texas are getting a break from the drought and the heat this Labor Day weekend! Enjoy the holiday! Pools and beers for everyone! Well... except me... maybe i'll go to the laguna.

To all a good night!

Paz y Amor.

Amy

P.S. Thinking about scheduling a visit home come December... so i can see my folks and brother and soon to be sister in law... and... Drive a car!!! To Chick-fil-a!!!! LoL... the things that keep me going... LOVE!