What's the Rush?

For as long as I can remember I think I have always had this attitude like- "I can't wait for this to be over." I'm talking like since I was a kid, with almost everything. When I was a kid I could not wait to be a grown up... It was always- I can't wait to be a middle schooler, a high schooler, to be done with college so I can be a real grown up... Then I became a real grown up and got a real job as a teacher and all I wanted was for the school year to end each year. Then I joined Peace Corps, and here I am a year in thinking all the time about what I'm going to do when it's over... 

WHY have I always been in such a hurry? A hurry to grow up and get on with things, I guess. This is normal right? I think many people may be affected by this manner of thinking. Those of us that are always too overly excited to get on to whatever is next for us. Thinking... When I finish school I will be it will be awesome. Once I get a new job, I will be happy. When summer vacation comes... When I get done with Peace Corps...  But what about right now? 

And often when I get there, to that place in my life I just couldn't wait to get to... it's almost never as wonderful as I imagined it would be... and it's not until then that I realize how great things really were in the past. So this morning over my cup of instant coffee (in the "Stop me before I volunteer again" mug my brother gave me), I thought about how at times I've found myself thinking Man I can't wait for my service to be done and move on with my life... But really... it's not like that. I guess I just feel that way and say things like that when I'm missing the comforts of the 1st world life and when I feel lonely being out in my site. Ultimately... I know I'm going to love and appreciate this experience in the end. I'll be glad I finished, and will probably even miss it- El Salvador and its people. And I'm sure I'll look back fondly on these times, the good and the bad.... and I'll be proud- like Man! I did it! Haha, ok ok, I still have a year left- and then I'll tell you how I'm feeling about it ending.

It's just so hard for me to not get ahead of myself. I get too anxious and excited about things to come. But this is what I'm doing now... and you know what? I'm doing pretty awesome!

What kind of awesome things am I doing? WELL.... 

I can't believe it, but my water project keeps truckin along and appears like it might be a success! I don't want to speak too soon... but next week I should find out for sure if my community will be getting it or not. The mayor is going to have someone from his council drive me and my community leaders to San Salvador to have a meeting with the organization! Sounds promising... at least on part of the mayor who is supportive enough of the project to have us driven out there by one of his guys. We are so close! I have gotten tired at points, of going to mayor's office and to San Sal to meet with people there- over and over again... but it looks like all the hard work and persistence might pay off! Primero Dios.

But something so silly happened a few weeks ago... I went to San Salvador to meet with the water project manager and talk about what needs to be done next, and the he told me that some guy from my community was there the day before. He said it was a fat guy that came in just to complain about things- saying he doesn't like how I am running the project. The Project Manager stood up for me and said I am only trying to help them. And the guy from the community just kept complaining and had no real constructive purpose of being there. I know exactly who it was. It was Alex, the "President" of the council (that doesn't really legally exist) of that part of the community. He was upset that I have been collaborating with the actual legitimate community council rather than theirs. Sorry buddy... you're not legit. And seriously... he should have just come to talk to me so I could communicate to him what I'm doing. He could have hurt our chances of getting this project... I'm not mad, I mean... just laughing about it. It sounds like he just wants to be able to take some credit for the project and I can't blame him for wanting to be involved. However, it shouldn't really be about WHO gets the water for the community, but just about just getting their basic need for water taken care of. And then he called me Monday night at 8 pm and was asking me to come to a meeting the next day with his council. Sorry I'm busy. I was busy... I was preparing for a workshop I had planned in the school this week... which I totally rocked!

I organized a Horizontes de Prevencion charla at my school. This is an HIV/AIDS, STD prevention workshop where kids also get a general sex education. It was a huge success! I could not be happier with how it went. Not gonna lie, beforehand I was like, Mannn I'm so dumb. Why did I plan to do a charla right before I leave for vacation? But it was so worth it. We did it at the school in 2 groups- 8th grade in one, 9th grade in the other with a total of about 50 students. And I had my youth counterparts that I got trained in the workshop a few months back to help, and also got local medical professionals to come participate and help teach the students about condoms and how to properly use them. I have never seen the students from my school so engaged in learning something... Well, their age and the subject made it easy for them to be I guess... But also because the activities I had planned were dynamic and involved their participation. I was so happy that they felt comfortable asking questions, and from the pre and post tests that I gave I can tell that they learned. It was a blast! My youth counterparts are so awesome... they love teaching this so much that they want to travel to other communities to do it. Jamie came to help with this one in my site and we are talking about going to do the charla at her site next. There are photos on my fbook if you're interested in seeing more pics from the activity!

Butt shot. Not the most flattering (I bought those pants for $5 in a Salvadoran woman's living room)- but I wanted to show the whole group! Such a great group of kids! 

The Globulos Blancos are defending the Cuerpo Humano

I also want to send out a huge thank you to Carol & Jim in Houston who helped make it possible for my school to get a refrigerator for their kitchen. This refrigerator was a much needed item and after buying it a few weeks ago, it has already been put to great use! The school staff is now able to buy more fruits and vegetables for the food they cook for the kids- being able to provide the students with more nutritious meals. We can store food in a more sanitary manner, not waste so much, and we are even able raise money for other needed school materials by selling cold beverages and other items that we can keep in it. This one appliance is doing such great things for our Centro Escolar! We are planning a bigger way to say thank you but for the time being, just want to give the shout out and say- Un mil gracias!

Nina Damaris, the school cook, loves all that she is now able to do in the kitchen with this fridge!

Soon I am heading back to Houston for the 4th of July weekend... a really short trip this time, but I am really excited about seeing my family :) I do have lots of things to get back here to with my life in El Salvador though. Things aren't always easy here in this life... But it's mine, and I love it. 

Peace Out!

Amor.

Amy and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week

What a terrible, horrible, no good very bad week was the thought that was running through my head as this week went on.


My weekend started off great... I got into San Sal Friday and went out for dinner with Noel and friends at a pretty good restaurant Friday night. Saturday I gave a stab at the Foreign Service Officer test. I took it at the embassy- or excuse me, the Palace- with its big clean buildings and beautifully manicured, green lawns. The test was 3 hours long. There were several other PCVs there taking it; one came all the way from Guatemala because they don't offer the test at his post. He also came really dressed up... I think he was wearing a tie... while the rest of us were in flip flops or sweatshirts. Saturday morning tests aren't that fun- and this one was intense. Afterwards I was exhausted and had a growing headache. I won't find out if I passed it for 3-5 weeks. I have no idea how I did... many people dont pass it their first time. But it was free to take and worth giving it a try- also because afterwards Noel took me into the commisary (or however you spell it)- the store at the embassy that sells many of the American things you can't find here- and I got to see all of the wonderful things inside! Jaw-dropping... Chex mix! Bud Light! Noooooo!? VELVEETA SHELLS and CHEESE!? JACKPOT!!! But I had plenty of that from my lovely family who has been keeping me stocked with their shipments. So I left very happy with my 3 cans of Progresso Soup. I don't know where my new obsession with soup came from, but over the last several months I have eaten soup everyday... and now I have Progresso, thanks to my honey :)

So after we left the embassy Noel and I went shopping at Pricesmart for the going away party we were having that night for some friends. Pricesmart is like Costco or Sams Club... and they have really good hot dogs! You may recall that months ago I blogged about how much I miss those things, and then -lucky me- I discovered the Pricesmart hot dog. It ain't nothin compared to a hebrew national or ball park beef frank- but it does the job. And they have relish and freshly cut onions for toppings. While sitting there at the Pricesmart picnic tables eating our weiners- Noel told me more about the process of becoming a foreign service officer... My brain was so fried just from taking the test, but its sounds like the test is not even the worst of it. It's only the first of many challenges. It will be exciting to see where life takes me after Peace Corps... who knows, maybe I could be working in embassies all over the world, or maybe i'll stick with teaching.

So you're probably wondering- where is the "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad" in all of this? Well, that started creeping it's way in before the party on Saturday. I just wasn't feelin right- like maybe I was getting sick. But that didn't stop me from having a good time! I felt it on Sunday when I woke up all achey. Then by Sunday night I had a pretty high fever. Then Monday came the stomach pain and the diahrrea... and so finally on Tuesday after being sick and uncomfortable for several days, I called my doctor, went in for tests in San Sal... which, if your interested- involved blood being drawn and pooing in the tiniest cup ever... EW.

"You have amoebas..." my doctor, Charo, told me.

Wonderful, I thought. I'm not crazy or just being a dramatic baby. I actually had something. Sometimes I try to tough it out when I think I might have something, because a lot of the times it passes on it own. In this case, I was trying to tough it out and waited a bit longer than I should have to call the doctor. But I finally did because those were the most intense stomach pains I ever had from diahrrea... it had to be something. Next time I'll just go in when it's that bad. I won't make myself sit around being uncomfortable for days.

And as a volunteer, I don't know what it is, but a lot of times I feel really guilty when I can't do my job or if I miss things in my site, even if it's because I'm sick. And this was not a good time for me to get sick... I had meetings planned about my charlas, an Escuela de Padres to go to, a meeting with the NGO about my water projects... and all of that was put on hold by these amoebas. Thanks guys. No really. I guess I needed to be reminded to always remember to take care of myself first. My health is more important than anything. And it's not like I could have sat through any of these meetings if i was hunched over cramping or crapping my pants. So anyway- I'm still recovering- taking these strong, bitter pills that make me feel funny, but just after two days of them I am so much better, in my site, and trying to take it easy.

But the icing on the cake of my "no good, horrible, very badness" was having my campesinas come meet me in San Salvador after my medical stuff to go to talk with the water project people. They came all the way from San Vicente, and hour walk to the bus and 2 hours on two buses for us to go and find out the guy wasn't even there. When I spoke with him previously he said he would be. I felt really bad about that... I should have called the day before to confirm... but being sick, I just was not at my best... and maybe shouldn't have been pushing myself to get this work done in the state I was in. Lesson Learned. But we did drop off our letter of solicitude for the project... so they can feel like they did something- they went to the office and dropped of the letter.... But I will still have to go back and talk with the guy. I don't think I will try bringing them with me next time. It's too much for them to do, and too expensive, with the possibility of the guy not even being there. I asked them when the last time they went to the capital was and it had been over a year for both of them. They never leave San Vicente. And it was clear they weren't comfortable with being in the city. One of my ladies didnt even know how to open the car door of the taxi from the inside. So we dropped off the letter and went back to San Vi asap, where I bought them a good lunch at their favorite Comedor for $2 each and they were happy.

So none of this is really all that bad is it? I guess not. It's too easy to be pessimistic when you're not feeling well. When I am feeling good, I am happy, and I have thoughts like "My life is awesome, Peace Corps is the best decision I ever made." When I'm sick and not well I'm feeling like, "Man... this frikin sucks. How much longer 'til I don't have to live like this anymore?" So yes, lesson has been learned... I have to take care of myself above all else, so that I can be here and be able to do my job. Yes my community has needs... but so do I, and I should not neglect my own needs to take care of their's.

And the people in my community understand... they can see that I have been sick just by looking at me. They are all commenting on how I lost weight- The upside of amoebic dysentary. You lose a good number of pounds from pooping your brains out and losing your appetite. I wonder what it is that I got it from. Dropping my clif bar on the floor of the dirty bus and eating it anyway? Buying and eating street food? Drinking dirty water? Not being able to wash my hands or food properly while my community was out of water for weeks? There are many possibilities. I admit, I was getting too relaxed with what I had been eating- thinking, I've been here for a year and nothing too terrible has happened to me yet. I am not as invincible and tough as I thought I was.

But there's one thing my neighbors keep telling me they think it was that I know they are wrong about. They all say that I got it from using the latrine at my host family's house. They think you can pass amoebas onto other through dirty bathrooms and that too many people use the bathroom at my house. I don't think so. Most of the time I don't even sit down. But they swear that their doctors tell them that's how they've gotten it in the past. Despues de Dios es el Doctor, they tell me. After God comes Doctors. Puh-lease.

After being gone for medical, I came back to my site and my host mom had cleaned my house up for because it was all dusty and gross. How sweet it is to be loved and cared for.

I am very lucky.

Paz y amor.

Cows Frogs and Viejitos

Ay Dios Mio... These last few weeks have been rough, living without water. But THANK GOD the water is back! We have water once again, falling like the fountain of life from our chorro. I was so so happy when it finally came- after not having enough water to adequately bathe or wash dishes for weeks- that when I saw the precious liquid flowing in abundance I rejoiced in overly dramatic song and dance. Hallelujah! I have to say, it was a good experience... one that perhaps will really make my Peace Corps journey complete... I now know how valuable and precious this resource is. Over the last few days of our drought morale was low... I was left with no clean pots to cook with, no clean dishes to eat off of.... I was beginning to lose faith it would ever come. Then that day my prayers were answered... I hope I don't have to experience that too often again in the future. I will never ever complain again about how the ducks and chicken stand over my bath water and poo in it... I will be glad just to have it. This experience of loss of water makes me even more passionate about securing this water project for the near 60 houses in my community that dont have running water... I can't believe they live like that, and have lived like that, for their entire lives.

Random side note: One chicken layed a few eggs on the floor where I take my shower the other day... I picked them up off the ground and ate them for lunch.

I love cows, but I hate them. I am so nervous walking around my community these days, in fear of a vaca brava that might come and try to coronear me- or stick her horn thru me. Ay no. Now I am almost never seen walking around town without a stick, and with much hesitation turning every corner. And when I do encounter cows, I am running into whatever house is nearby feeling nervous until they leave. Ever since my experience of being charged by an angry heffer and being saved by my neighbor Mateo for fighting it off, and ever since I talked to the woman who told me that was how her father died, I have these horrible visions that if anything were gonna kill me in the Peace Corps it would be the horn of a cow. Not the notable violence of the country I live in, but a cow. Haha... I am thinking about moving, yes still. I found a new place that is a possibility... and among the many perks of living there is the fact that I won't have to walk so far to school and the center of town everyday and encounter these frightening animals. What I do love about cows though- They are really really cute when they are babies, as you can see from some of my newest facebook photos. One was born last week and I named him Willy. And the cows that live at my house are nice and not scary... I love that I can feed them and give them whatever fruits and veggies I have that go bad, or whatever other undesirable foods I am given by friends and neighbors. I can never turn down food when it's offered to me... that's something that is extremely rude and offensive in this culture.

Another creature I am developing a hate for: FROGS. Effin Frogs. I remember when I was kid and I thought they were cute and I would go searching for them in the water meters on the street on Jenny Drive. Well little did I know how disgusting they are. I don't appreciate that now with the rainy season they are taking over my house... by the tens. I need to frog proof my house and do something about the gap underneath my doors. I am also proving to be a terrible frog hunter. Those suckers are really quite fast. I try to get to them and smash them with the broom and kill them so I can sweep them out of the house with ease... but it seems like no matter how hard I beat them they still manage to have the strength to hop away faster than I can get them out. And they hop quickly behind all furniture and hide and then I can't find them. And then they come out at night while i'm in bed making so much noise banging on everything and knocking things over and singing... and do you have any idea how substantial their excrements are? I mean... i'm talking decent sized turds, that smell. Hmph. I bet if I move to my new house I won't have this problem so bad.

The house I am in now and have been living in for almost a year is rather exposed to the elements. And when it rains water is flooding into my house from the side door creating a huge pool of water on one half of my house. It also brings in poo and dirt and nasty things... I've starting shoving a towel under the door, but mannnn.... what a life. The only thing about moving to this new place is that I will be joining a family... the living conditions will be a lot nicer, and I love this family... and I'll have the house to myself when I go to sleep at night because the kids that live in it and have their things there sleep next door with their grandma. Their parents left them to go to the US when they were really small and they've never gotten used to sleeping alone. But I love the family and the house is really pretty nice and spacious and their are cool young people around, including my best 20 year old friend Carolina. So i'm thinking I should do it... Just one year to go anyway. And time flies. And I'll get to know another part of my community better. But I'm gonna wait until August I think. Telling Marinita and Chepito will be hard.

This morning when I was waiting for the bus while sitting and chatting with my friend Hilda, I heard some man shouting all crazy. "What's that about?" I asked Hilda... She told me it was the old man that lives in the house across the street. He is old and blind and lives alone..... ??? How does one get by living like that? Maybe he was screaming because he had to go to the bathroom and couldn't find it and went all over himself. How does he find and prepare food when he is hungry? No one should have to live like that. Supposedly he has a daughter that comes once a day every day at 7 am to give him food.. but jeeez... that's not enough. Someone like that needs around the clock support. Hearing his story hurts my heart.

I have this thing about visiting the elderly in my community. There are a lot of sweet elderly women that live alone and I go and sit with them and we talk. They are so so sweet and I can tell it makes them so happy to get a visitor. Last week I was visiting with Nina Odilia and she was trying to gift me everything in her home. When I said I liked her purse she ran to her room and found this big big one that she had and gave that to me, and then she proceeded to fill it with most of her fruits and vegetables in her fridge and sweet bread and soup mix. I was like "No more, you've given me enough." But enough was not enough for her. How sweet she is. I couldn't ever eat all of that myself before it went bad. Now I feel like I owe her... I'm gonna have to buy her some fancy pan dulce next time I go to San Vicente for her.

Well that's all for today my friends... Time to go enjoy my weekend!

What You Want

"Don't give up what you want most for what you want at this moment."


I have moments where I wish I had a hot shower, to see my family, cold skim milk over a bowl of cereal, a gym, a car to drive.... But this quote reminds me that it's not worth it. Because what I want most is to be a successful volunteer. To finish my time here feeling like I have left this place better than I found it... for the people here and for myself. There's time in the future for hot showers and honey bunches of oats. But this is my once in a lifetime chance to really make a difference in this rural community here in El Salvador. And that is something I bet I would not trade for anything in the long run.

And as of today my community has been without running water for a week, which is nothing big to many volunteers, but I thus far really haven't had to live without it. The "bomba" that pumps all the water to our community and several others broke. We are left scrounging around for the scarce liquid in the rivers and the pozos... bringing it in from wherever we can find it. I have never ever had to lived without water. And I'm quickly learning that I don't even know how to live without it. These people sure do- they're teaching me how to make the littlest amount go a long way. Something that is a rather good life skill, I think. So I'm getting bye with about two gallons a day... one for bathing, the other for washing my dishes. The downside is- I have fallen of the p90x train. I am just not gonna workout and sweat that much if I'm not guaranteed a decent bath after. Such a bummer. But hopefully they'll get the bomba fixed and we'll have water again soon. I keep hoping it will rain so I can fill up my buckets and shower with the rain water... but no luck there.

It's a little bit ironic that the water is out while I have been working so hard on getting water to the part of the community (57 houses, 250 people) that doesn't have water. But what I am trying to get for them are these systems that are filled with rain water... they're really big so they hold a lot of water and they will have pipes hooked up from the cisterns to their pilas. It even filters the rain water so that it is good for drinking... something that will surely improve their health and wuality of life. The only downside is that it's not going to work the whole year round. During the long summer months, the cisterns will dry up and they will have to go back to carrying the water from 2 km away. Does that sound worth it to do this project? One that they can really only benefit from during the rainy season? I think it might be their only option though. Piping water out to them would be so costly and labor intensive because of their location- which is probably why no one has ever taken on the project in the past. Supposedly the cisterns are so big that the water will endure through a chunk of the summer... but surely not all of it. Hmmm... Well I have a meeting with the people this afternoon to see if they like the idea. I've already convinced the mayor to back us up. After I spent two days straight waiting for him at his office... The first day he didn't come at all, and the second day he came in the afternoon. He is not an easy man to track down. And no one could tell me anything about when he might be there. So, anyway... we'll see what happens.

The last asamblea I held with the community about this project though... I was pretty nervous about. More than 100 people showed up... and I have to say, I rocked it. I couldn't believe it... like- is this me? am I doing this? Standing in front of 100 campesinos, speaking Spanish perfectly, understanding them perfectly, about bring water to their community... something they have been fighting for for decades. Yup... it was me. Felt pretty awesome.

There's no one available to give me a ride out there today, and to walk it's 45 minutes or so up and down hills, so... I'm borrowing a horse! LoL and arriving on horseback. Why do I think that is so funny? Again, is this really the life I'm living? haha! I love it!

Anyways, all of this water project stuff has made me so busy, I haven't had time to blog. In between the water project solicitude writing and meetings, I'm planning my HIV/AIDS workshop for this month with the local medicos and the kids that I got trained at the camp I brought to in April, I'm making shampoo, and trying to find time to work at the school and help the English teacher. I feel bad, I wish I could be at the school more helping the teachers and being with the kids. But at the moment, I think getting people water is a tad more important don't you think?

I woke up this morning covered in these little hard itchy bumps. I think they are a leftover reaction from the sandfleas in Roatan. I had never heard of or seen a sanflea before, or is it sandfly? I dunno, either way, they are obnoxious. They are as tiny as fleas but they have little wings and fly. And they bite and attack you everywhere... They werent so painful when they bit, just annoying... and they didn't really itch until the present, nearly a week later. We bought this local remedy that was a mix of a bunch of different oils. It really did work. So if you ever find yourself with a sandflea problem, spritz yourself with oil. Other than the sandfleas, Roatan was an awesome and gorgeous! Our time went by so fast, since we were only there 3 nights. But it was just enough time for the crystal clear waters, sand, sun, and scuba. Oh my effin god is it gorgeous!! It was my first time to visit a Caribbean island- it did feel very Carribean, even though it was just off the coast of Honduras. And all the people there spoke Spanish and English. I would highly recommend this as a vacation spot to anyone... never mind the sandflies. They're only seasonal, and they're worth it. I also tried scuba for the first time and loved it! We went as deep as 40 feet... it was a little hard and scary to get my brain used to breathing under water- because it's so unnatural. But I quickly adapted and before I knew it I was down there swimming with the sea turtles like a pro. It felt like walking on the moon. So cool! I'm definitely glad I tried it and might even want to get certified eventually. Scuba is a something I think everyone should have on their bucket list now.

In other news- I am the proud owner of a new Kindle 3G... I can't stop talking about how great this thing is! The best gift! I have the most thoughtful boyfriend ever! Previously I would be seen lugging around huge hardback printed books that took up all this space in my bad... and now i can have thousands of books all on this one little device! I have books, magazines, blogs, and can even play scrabble on it! And because it's got the 3G- which my fancy "3rd world peace corps country" has all over... I can even check email and facebook and get on the web for FREE anywhere I am! Isn't that nuts!? Ok well i'm not gonna be whipping it out in public because it might bring some attantion to myself as the gringa with the money and the fancy electronic device... I doubt the salvadorans would really know what it is or what to do with it though... But it is so nice. I'm going to save so much money not buying my $1 a day internet, and I won't be spending so much wasted time in front of my computer when I should be out and about in the community. Having internet on my laptop, it was often too easy to get sucked in to hours of chatting with people on facebook. But with my kindle I can just check my email and facebook and be done and go on with my day. I tell you, this thing is changing my life. LoL... ok, so there's my testimonial. I'm just super excited about it, can ya tell?

So, time for me to get on with my day! Can't mop my house- no water. I think I'll go arriba and visit some of mi gente and then come back and make myself a tasty tuna salad sandwich for lunch.

And I'll leave you with another wise little quote my dad shared with me- because it's thoughts and words like these that keep me going these days...

"Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you have."

Love to todo del mundo. Paz.

I didn't start the fire...

It seems like a lot of the time I buy fruits and veggies "por gusto," just for the pleasure of seeing my fridge filled with colorful items. More than half the time I can't finish them all on time. Because when meal times come around I just grab for the oatmeal, Ramen, Mac n Cheese, or canned tuna. Ok well i do also make eggs a lot and often include veggies... But man... I am so ready for some more variety in my campo diet. Eating can be such a pleasure, not to mention a way to feel great. I need more ideas for bringing variety into my life, and my mouth, out here. Any suggestions? Yo dad, the Spam and sausage were a good call! :) Despite my lack of cookin in the campo creativity... i am learning how to make one mean bowl of tasty Ramen... I have also learned that everything tastes better with garlic, lime and hot sauce. So, if any of you readers out there want to send me a package full of tasty American foods... I will be forever grateful!

In other news, I am on the edge of possibly discovering what will hopefully be a big defining project for my service.... Bringing running water to the parts of my community that go without. There are about 100 homes in my community that don't have water, close to 400 people. Many of them spend hours every day just carrying water up to 2 kilometers from the spring to their house- carrying it on their heads, backs, or horses. There are kids that miss school to bring water, men that can't work as much to bring water and therefore lose the little money they'd earn working in the field that day just to bring water, and too often many of them go well over a week without bathing because they have to ration what little water they can for cooking and drinking. To me, this is extreme poverty... and well if we can get this foundation to help fund and organize this project... no doubt the quality of life for these hundreds of people would improve dramatically.

So what happened what a Peace Corps staffer ran across an ad in the newspaper saying France had donated millions of dollars to El Salvador dedicated to water projects. There were a number of requirements- my community meets all of them. So I jumped on it and within a day had the solicitude letter ready. I talked with the foundation the other day and they said the community leaders need to head into the capital to personally hand in the solicitude and discuss their needs. So Tuesday I have a meeting with the community to explain the opportunity, and that it is not yet a sure thing... and Thursday hopefully we can get in front of these people in San Salvador and plead our case. It's not a for sure thing at all yet... just a glimmer of hope... and you can bet I'm gonna do everything I can to try and make this happen!

What else is going on? Well within the next few weeks we will finally be ready to buy the refrigerator our school needs! That's exciting! Everyday that the students come to school they are guaranteed a meal. They are unable to serve many things because there simply is no place to store the food items and keep them fresh and good. So finally they will be able to have a place for the fruits and vegetables and meats and the kids will get some more nutritious foods into their diets. Healthy kids are happier kids. Since my pinata bust, I'm deciding on what I want my next art project to be with the students at the school. I'm thinking... pet rocks with kindergarteners? Maybe we can do a mural too! But I don't just want to paint a mural for the sake of painting one... I want it to mean something. Any ideas?

My shampoo group is still going strong and we're selling our batches of aloe shampoo quickly. In no time we will have enough money to pay for our community clean up. You might be thinkin... But Amy, it doesn't cost anything to clean up trash... OOoooOh but it DOES! We need trash bags and here's the big expense... paying for the trucks to come in that will haul our trash away. The streets here are covered with trash... whenever anyone finishing a can of coke or a bag of chips, that empty container ends up on the ground. Oh man... you should see our soccer field! It's not like there are any public trash cans around... but even if there were, they dont have anyone coming to this community to pick up trash because it's so far out I guess. Everyone is forced to burn their trash pretty much.... That's pretty unfriendly to our environment ain't it? Man, I gotta say, the culture has penetrated my being enough at this point... I too, at times, have found myself wanting to litter. But NO! it's not cool, and not to mention it's unsightly when you look around the place where you live and just see land filled with garbage. So our shampoo money is helping contribute to the cleanliness of the community. It would be great if the ladies continued to make shampoo on their own even when I'm gone!


I'm planning some charlas, or workshops, for parents and how they can have better communication with their children... Around here I frequently observe that parents have no clue how to handle their children. They call them stupid and annoying, yell, hit, and never tell their kids they do anything right... These mommas need help. Just with Milton alone I have shown his mom that you can get a kid to listen to you by making clear expectations, having proper consequences, and communicating with them in a positive way. I mean I don't even have kids and I know how to handle them so much better than they do. I suppose it was my teaching experience and that I had awesome parents growing up.

Poor Milton though, his arm is messed up for life after that tamale burn 5 months ago. Especially because he doesn't wear the arm glove he is supposed to, to cover it from the sun.

I see him and in front of his mom ask him, "Milton, why aren't you wearing your glove?" and he will lie, like kids do and tell me it's because it got wet.

I look at his mom and she says, "He's a liar. He just doesnt want to wear it."

But Guadalupe, you can make him wear it, you're his mom. You're the boss.

"He just doesn't want to."

Then I look at Milton and talk to him about why he needs to wear the glove in a very friendly way, and ask him if he would rather have problems with his arm and it getting worse, or would he rather just wear the glove that will help it get better faster. This made sense to him... and within minutes we were on our way back to his house and we put the glove on and he wore it for the rest of the day.

Did I tell you guys that our kitten died? A cute little white one. The dogs ate it one day in front of my house. I wonder if it's just because they like to play too rough, like to kill or taste animal blood... or is it because they don't get enough food any other way? Poor Rinso. R.I.P.

I went to church today with Marinita. I don't mind going to mass every once in a while. I found it hilarious that our dog, Rambo, followed us all the way to church and slept underneath our pew for the entire hour and a half. Only in El Salvador do you find tons of dogs on the floor of the church.

Before I go... Some good simple pleasures I had this weekend in my site- Being able to buy a new broom, a thing to toast bread on over the stove, and a big knife on my front porch without having to travel to San Vi an hour and back and having to carry that stuff. Score. Eating 4 pupusas at Nina Alicias. Completing my second week of the p90x exercise program. Talking to my loved ones on the phone for hours because I got tons of bonus saldo.

Well, that's all folks! Hope you are all settling into and enjoying your summers in the Oosa.

All my love from The Savior!

Paz y Amor.

Amy. or in Spanish... Eymi.

Gringa Pride and Pinata Bust

This may be a record for the longest I have gone without writing a blog. It's been over two weeks. I guess I was waiting for something to write about... Many things have gotten to be normal to me here. This is just life. This is where I live.

And so here I am, coming up on 10 months of being here. What do I have to say about that? I confess- this is way harder than I imagined. I'm not giving up.... but I was thinking about this last night. I had done my fair share of traveling abroad prior to Peace Corps. A month in Mexico, a few weeks in Israel, Greece and Argentina... And I loved going to countries and experiencing their cultures... And clearly the Peace Corps experience is quite different than a few weeks or a month of passing through a country. I guess it's just I realize more and more with passing months how different it is to have to live and adapt to this culture.

It's funny- when I was living my American life, I never thought a second about how much I valued my culture. It's such a comfort to live your life in a culture where people talk and do things just like you do. And after being here almost a year it's sinking in how deeply engrained my American culture is in me. How different my perspective is now than when I was in my first months. When I was super gung-ho about living just like a Salvadoran. Then time passed and I've learned more about their culture seen that I am never going to live just like they do or be like them. Nor do I want to. I know now just how much I love and appreciate my own culture... I don't want or have to give that up. I still gotta be me, ya know. Peace Corps is affecting me... I have never been so proud to be an American.

And then I wonder with so many Salvadorans and people from all over the world moving into the states after decades and decades... what is that doing to the U.S. and our culture? I guess it's kinda cool that in our country we can experience so many different cultures, living alongside them, without having to give up ours. Just driving through Houston's Alief is like a mini-trip to Vietnam. That's cool. You get to experience the world without having to leave your city. I can appreciate that.

I was on the bus back to my site last week after hanging out at Noel's house for the weekend and I was feeling like I typically do when I leave there- a little blue. It's not easy making the transition from capital life to campo life... there is a world of difference between the two. I usually get a little down about it, but after I am back in my site for a day I'm fine. So I was sitting there frowning a bit and the guy next to me was super happy and could not control his urges to talk to me. So finally I gave in- talking would be a good distraction from sitting there thinking about how much I was going to miss my boyfriend and that life... And the guy is all smiley and telling me about how he is on his way home to San Miguel to pack his things because he has his interview that morning at the US embassy and was approved for an immigrant visa and he would be flying out as soon as possible.

"Pues, Felicidades" i told him. He went on to talk to me about how nervous and scared he is. He has never lived anywhere but with his cows and chicken in the campo of San Miguel. I didn't study past 6th grade. And I was thinking- what is this guy going to do up there? He said his plan was to cut grass for his brothers landscaping business. Ok- that's more money than he would ever make here. And then he asks me, "How hard is it for you to live outside of your country and your culture?" and he's talking about how much he's going to miss El Salvador- his food, his life... I was honest and told him it can be tough sometimes. But then I realized how much easier it will be for him living there.... when people immigrate to the U.S. there are huge communities of others just like them. They have their food, they celebrate their holidays, and shoot- they don't even have to learn the language. People go to the states and live there forever and never learn English because they dont have to. We even cater to them and make it easier for them by having many things translated for them. Cuidado. Piso Mojado.

What a comfort to have that kind of support when moving to another country. It's tough when I'm out here in the campo and the only American.... sometimes it feels like no one here understands me. Thank God at least I can call my gringo friends who are here experiencing the same thing... And when I need gringo time we can get together and hang out. But seriously, I could not live here if it weren't for them. I would go crazy. I need my fellow Americans more than I ever thought I would. I get by with a little help from my friends.

So anyway... Does all this sound pessimistic to you? Sorry about that. I really had a decent week last week too... I was out of my house everyday most of the day, hangin with the peeps. I spent all afternoon last Thursday making pinatas with 4th graders. It was fun and they seemed to have a great time... we got the first layer of paper mache on there... and were going to put on the second layer and finish up the bodies on Friday. And then Friday came and I showed up to school to find out at that several 4th grade girls had done and destroyed all the pinatas. WTF? I was really upset by this... they ruined them all, crushed them. Little boogers. I was so excited to be doing them and to be active with the kids at school. I just felt like- How can I do anything with these kids? The teachers are just as much to blame. They don't really supervise the kids and the kids know it- The pinatas were hanging in the office a place I thought was safe and out of the way... but the kids went in there anyway. Sigh. Ok I'm over it now... I don't think I will be doing pinatas again. Next time I do an art project we will do something they can finish and take home in the same day. It's too bad these girls ruined it for everyone else. Kids.

I am super excited and looking forward to my trip to Roatan, Honduras at the end of the month where Jamie and I are going to try scuba diving for the first time. It's supposed to be one of the best places for diving in the world. It kinda freaks me out, being deep down in the water like that... but I'm giving it a go. Everyone I know who has tried it says its awesome and that I gotta do it.
I'm also going to use up my airline credit I still have left over from canceling my trip to South America last summer before joining the peace corps and I'm going to go to Houston just for the 4th of July weekend. I'm lucky that I'm from a place that's only a few hours away by plane. Yup... This ain't my grandmother's Peace Corps! (who served in Benin back in the 80s).

I wanted to sleep in today but Don Tulio was chopping wood right outside my house... at 5:30 in the morning! Oh well... gave me time to write this blog.

I've been exercising a lot more at my house in the campo lately. I got all the p90x cds from Noel and it's great- I'm able to get excercise without having to wake up super early to run before the sun comes out, and then when it rains I can't run because it's too muddy. I'm loving it.... And today is Yoga! So I'm gonna get to it! Then I gotta run to the school and clean up the pinata mess.

The Days are Long, But the Years are Short

All more the reason to get motivated to do something truly wonderful with my time here. I have been in country about 9 months, and in my permant site for 7. Many volunteers say that they didn't really understand their communities and what they could do for them until they had been in them for a year. I agree with that, but I can feel like I'm getting there, slowly, but getting there.

Jamie reminded me about the Peace Corps statistics they shared with us during training. Peace Corps, after 50 years of sending Americans away for service, has pretty much figured out pat exactly how a typical volunteer will be feeling mentally throughout their 2 years. According to them, I am at that point in my service, that end of the first year stretch, in which I will probably have the blues the most- about what I'm doing here, what I gave up to be here, etc. When Jamie reminded me about this I was in the middle of having a really great day... I was like "I think the worst of my blues is over... but i'll be here for you..." BAHAHA! I spoke too soon... I still have my days when I get the blues. BUT luckily I have been having a lot of really REALLY good days in site mixed in with them.

I'm learning a lot about what it is I need to doing to make sure I can keep it together. Also, with the encouragement of a good friend.... I have discovered that I LOVE to mop the floor of my house. It's really quite therapeutic. Turn on some good music, mix lavender Fabulosa with water and make your house sparkle. I can appreciate living in this cement box a lot more if I keep it clean and smelling nice. Funny, because before it was suggested to me, I had only mopped my own floor once in the 7 months of living here. Quite sad. My floor was dull and filthy... except for on the rare occasion I asked Guadalupe to clean it for a dollar, or Marinita surprised me by doing it herself... not being able to stand how dirty it was. LoL... So here is to new, healthy rituals!

I've also been keeping up with exercise... extremely important. I didn't get to run this morning because the soccer field was a lake after yesterday's rain. I just have to get some workout DVDs to do in my house. I did p90x with Jamie at Noel's house last week. OY! My legs and butt were incredibly sore for nearly a week... the first few days she and I both could hardly walk. It was awesome. Really, it was.

So it was a good week! Tuesday I went to a meeting with town leaders held by the NGO that works in my community. It was all about educating us on the structure of El Salvador's political system... which really bored me because it felt like a basic political science class... only in Spanish. Ay! It was good practice for my spanish though, listening and speaking from 7 am to 4:30 pm. I just didn't learn much. We're going to another one next month about gender in rural El Salvador. That sounds a lot more interesting.

Then Thursday... I had a very unique experience. The Ministry of Health sent a psychologist to my community's school to work with the teachers... He was supposed to be doing some kind of professional development- I think that is supposed to help them better understand their students. But it really turned into some kind of 4 hours therapy session.

He was giving us deep breathing, meditating and stretching techniques. Ok, cool. All things I find enjoyable. Then he went on to have us all sit in a circle for a "catharsis" activity. This is when it got a little... mmm, interesting. He gets a straw hat and puts in on the floor in the middle of the circle. He's asking everyone questions like, "what is that?" it's a hat. "What color is it?" Cream. "who would wear it?" A man.

Then he picks it up and says we are all going to talk about our relationships with out father when we were children... I didn't think his transition was too smooth and it completely caught me off guard. He went first holding the hat... talking about how his dad was a very serious person that made him spend much of his childhood gathering and selling mangoes in the streets. His dad expected him to do this for the rest of his like just like him... etc... He passes the hat to Beatriz sitting to his right. It's her turn to talk about her dad. She was already in tears before he even handed her the hat. She shared that her dad was an abusive drunk that beat the women in the family and she went on bawling and sharing ugly things about her childhood in relation to her father. Passes the hat. Idalia... her dad left them, she had to take care of the family while her mom worked... Bawling.... Passes the hat to Margarita.... Dad had a family with other women, didn't pay much attention to them when he came to visit... At this point we all had tears pouring out of us.

It was incredibly hard to sit there and listen to their stories. Not one of them could say that they did not suffer during their childhood. Seeing their pain brought me to tears as well. I had never known them on this level. We just worked together... and to hear about their pasts... I had so much shame to have that hat passed to me. I had never experienced suffering... really of any sort. I got stitches once when I was a kid... but I never went without anything. My childhood was awesome. My dad was awesome. So what could I say? I just said I was without words... because I had never experienced that kind of suffering. That it's a pleasure to work with strong people like them and to see where they are despite the odds they faced. Passed the hat.

At one point when everyone was crying the psychologist was having people stand up in pairs and hug and cry it out. I was just like, "Whoa! What is this?" It was more of a support group and therapy session than a professional development for teachers. But I have learned to just go with things around here.

It was just one of those moments... having "I AM DIFFERENT" staring me in the face. Reminding me I am so fortunate. I remember when I was a kid I would complain when I had to wait til Dad got his next paycheck to get new shoes, and I felt poor because mom wouldn't buy be Abercrombie & Fitch clothes like the other kids who seemed to come from families with more money. I had no idea how fortunate I was. It's funny how one might feel as rich as their surroundings. Because I grew up in the suburbs where there were lots of kids that went to school with me from families with more money, I felt somewhat poor compared to them. Dad dropping me off at school in his Ford Festiva, my friends getting dropped off in fancy SUVs. Pfffff. I was definitely rich in comparison to most children here. Perspective.

I won't forget that day. I'm glad I was there and that I got to know the teachers like that. By the end of the session it was like we were all best friends. That afternoon we ate cake and danced and they taught me some moves. They're such good people.

Well tonight it's pupusa night! I went and ate beans and tortillas for lunch with an old lady friend. I like to visit the old ladies that live alone... they are so sweet and love to have visitors, but unfortunately don't get many because they mostly talk about how much their knees and their backs hurt. But I find other things to talk about usually. And I like checking up on them... I can't imagine how lonely they are. And poor Rosa... she runs a store by herself and she's always letting people take things from her without paying. Kind of like putting it on a tab... but she says they dont always come back to pay, and they get mad when she asks them to. I'm like, stop doing that! People are taking advantage of the sweet little old lady.

This week I am going to a mandatory Peace Corps In-Service Traning. At least it's in a really nice part of the country at a place that serves good food!

Ok, I could go on forever, but it's almost pupusa time!

Paz y Amor.