It's so hard to do, and so easy to say...

For so long I have been talking about joining the Peace Corps. When I talked about it, it was so easy to say with confidence, "I want to go join the Peace Corps!" The closer my departure date gets, and the more steps I take to prepare myself- I am realizing how easy it was to talk the talk. Now that I'm starting to walk the walk- it's freaking me out a little. The feelings of "holy cow, i'm really doing this" started to set in after my garage sale on Saturday, in which I rid myself of all the junk I dont need to hold on to. I made about $160- which isn't much, but it's all stuff I was going to get rid of anyway- and it was like people were paying me to take my crap off my hands for me.

Here's Mom and I working the garage sale. She put the stupid hat on my head. Normally I would object to wearing something that looks that goofy, but it was SO sunny and hot, I didn't mind!

I was hesitant to talk about my fears here, because I'm not sure I want my blog to be a place with negative thoughts.... But then I decided, this is just part of what people go through when a life-changing decision is made. I'm just keeping it real. And I think everyone could understand why taking this leap is a challenge. The hardest part for me is saying goodbye to my loved ones... Especially my boyfriend of 3 years, Billy. We've seen this coming for a long time... the first time I met him I told him I wanted to join the Peace Corps. He has always been really supportive and encouraging of me following my dreams. He is the best friend anyone could have and I'm really really realllllly going to miss him... we've had a great 3 years together. 2 years is a long time to be away from each other, and we know that it will be hard to keep our relationship going over such a long distance for several years. We plan to keep in touch as much as possible, but we will be focusing on doing our own things...and just say whatever will be, will be. Here is my favorite photo of us from when we were traveling Greece together:




There's no doubt that I'm going and that I'm still really excited about starting my new adventure. And there are so many reasons why I know this is the right thing for me to do. That does not make it easy. But you know what- Anything I've ever done in my life that was ultimately worthwhile, initially scared me to death.